Jackie Chan Adventures: The Child of Prophecy
by NeoNazo356
Summary: Having been caught up in the spell meant to seal Bai Tza away forever, Jade finds herself lost in the Demon Netherworld. As she's makes her way toward Shendu's portal and freedom, she just so happens to come across one who has been there since long before the Demon Sorcerers were sealed; a now-jaded soul that may yet receive compensation for the hellish life he'd lead before.
1. A Jinchuuriki Among Demons

_**(Jade's POV)**_

This was supposed to be the last of the demons sealed away. Six times before we'd defeated and sealed away the Chinese demon sorcerers; Po Kong the Demon Sorceress of Mountain, XiaoFung the Demon Sorcerer of Wind, Tchang Zu the Demon Sorcerer of Thunder, Tso Lan the Demon Sorcerer of the Moon, Dai Gui the Demon Sorcerer of Earth, Hsi Wu the Demon Sorcerer of Sky, and last but not least was Bai Tza the Demon Sorceress of Water. I was just in the middle of catching the last of our little escapade on film when the boat suddenly bounced me up into Uncle's Chi Spell, sending me and fish-face to the Demon Netherworld.

The place was colored like the sunset, redder the higher you looked, yellower the lower you looked, this expanse of space going on in all directions for eternity with floating rocks making the place resemble something out of a platforming game. My only companion, my Melvin Moose video camera, which I had used to catalogue my time in this place. While jumping around in the low-gravity of this place, I had almost been discovered by Po Kong after riding her back, though with some quick thinking I was able to redirect the attention away from myself, and back to their conversation with the Demon Sorcerer Shendu, currently dwelling within Valmont's body. As a result of the meeting, I was greeted with both good knews and bad knews.

Good news; there was an _eighth _door I could use it to escape the Demon Netherworld. Bad news; I lost the demons as I made my way to it. If I didn't find that gateway soon, I'd be stuck here forever, and trust me I did _not _want that.

From there, I made my way to the eighth portal, only to find myself completely lost after passing the same rock at least twice. After trying again for a few more minutes, I decided to take a rest stop on a large rock platform and vent out my troubles to my camera. It may've been desperate, but if I wanted to get out of here, I'd need a level head, lest I do anything stupit. Heh. Funny. If I'd just _listened _to Jackie for once, none of this would've been happening.

"Day number… _ugh_, I haven't the foggiest. Good news; the demons have left to find the eighth portal. Bad news; I lost their trail," Jade said into her camera. "Jackie, Tohru, Uncle. I may never see you again, but in case you ever find this footage… edit this mushy part out before you sell it to a TV show," she said into it. "Just want you to know I miss you," she sighed before she heard the sound of a stone clattering across another, her eyes darting up into the rock platforms above, a small silhouette, smaller than Hsi Wu moving around at near-Rabbit Talasmin speeds.

_**(Normal POV)**_

"Who's there?" Jade asked as she looked around to the other rock platforms, backing away as she tried to muster whatever courage she could. "I'll have you know… I've been versed in the ancient art of butt whoop," she said backpedaling, only for her back to contact something that wasn't there before. Mechanically looking over her shoulder, the girl let out a startled- "WAH!" –and pat her chest when she caught sight of the figure that had landed behind her.

Said figure was surprisingly _human_, and he looked about her age if not a year older, and was similar in height, if not a bit taller by a few inches. He had tanned skin, spiky blond hair that stuck up in all directions, and ocean-colored eyes. He really seemed to have a flare for the color orange, given the nature of his outfit which was entirely orange, save for his open-toed and heeled blue sandals, as well as the blue headband on his forehead, a silver plate with the carved symbol for a leaf emblazoned upon it. He had what looked like a fanny pack on the over his left back pocket, and some kind of holster strapped to his right thigh with bandages.

_Cuuute… _Jade mentally cooed at the sight of the whisker-marks on his face. While she was a bit of a tomboy, she still had a soft spot for cute things. However, memories of when Hsi Wu assumed human form played before her mind, and she instantly got into a battle-ready stance. "Alright you demon sorcerer, you want a piece of me?"

"What? Where? I thought I lost them!" the blond asked looking over his shoulder, only to turn back to the girl in front of him. "_*Phew* _Don't _scare _me like that. You have any idea how hard it is to find a spot in this place where those freaks won't bug you?" he asked looking around, as though the Demon Sorcerers would jump out at them at any time.

"So… You're _not _one of them?" Jade asked looking over the blond again. Truth be told, while Hsi Wu/Seemore hid himself pretty well, his hairstyle, voice, and slanted eyes were faint giveaways. For the blond however, he bore no resemblance to any of the other Demon Sorcerers. Especially since they looked more like dragons than foxes.

"No, I'm not, and by the look of your attire, neither are you," the blond returned. "So, what'd _you _do to end up here?"

"I kinda got in the middle of one of my uncle's chi spells when he was sending the water demon away," Jade sighed. "Hold on, if you're not a demon sorcerer in disguise, and you're human…" she said looking at him warily. Given their location and how she wasn't spotted, there'd be no _need _for any of the demon sorcerers to disguise themselves as humans, since it would serve no real purpose. She was also pretty sure there wasn't a blond in orange at any of the portal sites where the demons were sealed, so that only raised the question- "How did _you _get stuck here? Come to think of it' what's your name."

"My name… is Naruto Uzumaki," he answered before something dawned on him. "Come to think of it, who are _you_?"

"Oh, my name's Jade. Jade Chan," she said extending her hand to him, which he shook briskly.

"It's nice to meet you," Naruto complimented. "As to how I got here, it was… a long time ago," the blond sighed as he sat down on a rock, his mind flashing back to better… and worse days, Jade taking a seat beside him, intent on listening. "For you to understand, I'll have to start from before the beginning of my ninja career."

"Whoa, you're a _real_ _nin_ja?" Jade gaped at the open declaration.

"Why's that so surprising?" Naruto asked.

"Well it's just… all the ninja's _I've _dealt with wore black pajamas, you… you're dressed in _orange_."

"Given the circumstances of my upbringing, I didn't have any other option," the boy grunted. While in all honesty, orange was his favorite color, he wished he could've gotten something with a little _less _of it. Something more stealthy.

"Hey, I don't have a _problem _with the color orange, I think it looks kinda cool. In fact, it's my favorite color," the girl said tugging on the collar of her hoodie, something the blond took note of with a smile.

"Heh, thanks. That's the first time anyone's _ever _complimented me on _this _monstrosity," he said tugging at his jacket before taking a breath. "Like I said, my being here is related to something that happened before my ninja career, and by that I mean the day I was _born_," he sighed, Jade listening intently since it wasn't that often she met with a _friendly _ninja. "On the day I was born, the Kyuubi no Yoko, a giant demon with the reputation as an age-old natural disaster that attacks where human malice is collected and festers, attacked my home village. The ninja of my homeland fought, but they were all swatted aside like flies. When all hope seemed lost, the Yondaime Hokage, the leader of my village, rose up against the beast, using a technique that, at the cost of his life, slayed the beast and saved the village which he lead."

"Whoa," Jade gaped, though the blond grew silent. "Keep going, I want to hear the rest," she pleaded.

" . . . Alright," Naruto nodded. "My childhood, it wasn't what you'd call _pleasant. _The villagers pretty much treated me like dirt, steering away from me like I had the plague, selling me overpriced food, and denying me any other form of clothing apart from this."

"Why would they even _do _something like that?" Jade asked.

"I was just about to get to that, if you'll stop interrupting," the blond answered, Jade nodding showing she wouldn't interrupt anymore. "Anyway, it was some time after my twelfth birthday, and I had attempted to graduate from the Ninja Academy for the third time since attending, aiming to become Hokage, the leader of my village. Long story short… I bombed. Big time," he sighed, Jade hissing at the understanding of that. While she wanted to ask him about the ninja academy and where it was, she figured she could ask him later. "As I was moping off to the side, one of my teachers came up to me and told me about a _secret _test, where if I stole a certain scroll and learned a technique from it, that I'd be able to become a ninja. While the test itself was a lie, I learned something that had been kept from me since I was a child. On the day of my birth, the Yondaime didn't defeat the Kyuubi like I'd been led to believe. The Yondaime, at the cost of his life, sealed the beast into an infant child. That child… was me," Naruto sighed.

"Whoa," Jade gaped.

"Yeah. Whoa," Naruto sighed. "Hearing that, everything finally made sense. Why the people hated me even when I didn't do anything wrong. Why they stayed away from me. Treated me like they did. I wanted so badly to make them pay for the way they made me suffer, however, my other teacher said something that gave me hope again. Hope that I could one day become Hokage and be recognized instead of hated. After that, I was able to graduate and become a ninja of Konohagakure no Sato," he noted, leaving out the part about him creaming Mizuki.

"So you're a real-life ninja?" Jade asked again, getting a nod from Naruto. "That… is so… cool," she awed. "Hey, can you climb up walls? Blend into the shadows? Throw shuriken and kunai? What technique did you learn from the scroll?" Jade asked in rapid succession, the blond putting a finger to her lips to get her to stop.

"In that order, yes, kinda, better than before, and as for the technique I learned, I'll show you later I suppose since it looks like we're going to be here awhile," Naruto answered, trying not to break it to the girl that the two of them were most likely stuck there forever. "Anyway, after graduating, I was set up with my own ninja squad. My sensei was Kakashi Hatake who was always late for everything, and my teammates were my childhood crush, Sakura Haruno…" Naruto trailed off, noting that while hers and Jade's hairstyles were similar, the girl beside him had a smaller forehead in comparison. "And the Rookie of the Year, Sasuke Uchiha," the blond noted off, a note of distaste in his tone which Jade noticed. "Anyway, for around a year we went on missions of all kinds, meeting people and seeing new places, learning new techniques along the way. However… things went south shortly after our village got a new leader."

"Who was the new leader?" Jade asked.

"Tsunade Senju, granddaughter of the Shodaime Hokage, and my grandmother figure," Naruto answered, thinking back to how much he missed her and everyone else. "Anyway, Sasuke… he defected from Konoha because he wasn't getting strong enough. Me and some of my friends went out to rescue him, though we met resistance along the way. Eventually, I managed to get to him, saying I'd bring him back; a promise I made to Sakura before I left. However, the person who I saw as my brother was long gone. Instead, only the avenger festering inside him remained, and in order to acquire the strength he wanted… he tried to kill me," Naruto sighed, Jade gaping in response. "The fighting was intense, neither of us gaining ground until eventually, when we were both pushed beyond our limits, we lunged at one another with one final charge, our most powerful attacks colliding with one another. This… bubble of energy swallowed us up, and while my attack petered out, his hit me in the gut, causing me to falter as the bubble of energy began to collapse around us. Seeing that, Sasuke used me as a springboard to escape. As for me… When I came to, I found myself here," Naruto said looking at the Demon Netherworld around him, Jade left speechless at the story. "I spent what felt like forever trying to get home, looking under every rock, sometimes going in one direction for _days _only to find myself going in circles. Eventually, I came to the conclusion that I was stranded here. That I could never bring Sasuke back to the village like I promised," he said plainly.

"You don't sound very enthused about the guy anymore," Jade noted. The way he talked about this _Sasuke _guy being like his brother and the promise he made, you'd think he'd be more depressed about not being able to do either. However, the way the blond talked, it was like he didn't care anymore. Not that she could really _blame _him. The guy sounded like a real _prick, _and if someone tried to kill _her_, well, she wouldn't exactly be too enthusiastic about talking about them either.

"Yeah, well, having a couple centuries or so to think about everything tends to bring things into perspective," Naruto sighed. "I should've realized a long time ago that no one would ever recognize me. There's just too much bad blood between them and the Kyuubi for me to ever make _any _headway. Heh. And all it took were a couple centuries in an endless void filled with demons to realize that," he chuckled to himself pitiably. "Still, all my power, my techniques, I'd trade it all away, just to see the outside world again," he said looking off into the sky, trying to remember the last time he felt the sun's rays upon his face, or the wind's whisper through his hair. After a moment, he merely slumped forward with another sigh. "Then again, maybe this is just my punishment. Maybe I'm just _meant _to stayhere."

"For _what_?" Jade asked incredulously. "Getting roped into something you wouldn't want a part of? It wasn't _your _fault you had a demon sealed inside you. It was that Yondamie guy because he didn't bother to try any other _option_."

"Heh. I guess you're right," Naruto chuckled. "You know, it's funny. Everyone back home treated him like Kami herself, but here I meet someone who doesn't care about him one way or another."

"The guy's been dead for over nine hundred years. That kinda tends to happen," Jade chuckled, Naruto following suit.

"Yeah… Wait, nine _hundred _years?" the blond gaped?

"Well, yeah, that's how long the eight demon sorcerers have been sealed here before they began getting out, only for us to put them… back… here…" the girl suddenly sighed as the full weight of the situation once more bore down on her. "I… I miss everyone back home. I even miss Uncle's _garlic _breath," the girl noted sadly before the floating green-tinted head of a bespeckled old man with messy hair and eyebrows appeared behind them, wailing-

"Jaaade!"

"WHA!" Jade suddenly cried out, unconsciously letting her Marvin Moose camera fly out of her hands, whereas Naruto got ready thinking it was a demon sorcerer, only to find the face of someone he did not recognize. "Uncle? How did you-"

"Not important," the floating head returned. "And garlic is _good _for you," he chided before gaining a more concerned tone. "Are you alright?" he asked, his eyes then landing on the blond, his eyes going over the boy before his features contorted into those of someone who was incredibly shocked. "_*GASP* _Jade. That boy you have with you, he is…" Uncle gaped as his eyes landed on the ocean-eyed whisker-marked blond, his mind slipping back to the end of his 15-year training trip with Chi Master Fung, the events of their final meeting playing before his mind's eye.

_***Flashback***_

"Uncle, I have taught you everything I can about Good Chi Spells. Use them well, but only when the time comes. You will know when," the aged form of Chi Master Fung instructed sitting atop his stone pedestal, a set of frogs sitting atop his shoulders and head, each croaking occasionally, though for the most part they remained motionless. Almost like they were meditating.

"I will, Chi Master Fung," Uncle bowed in reverence before turning to leave.

"Oh, one more thing," Chi Master Fung said getting the man's attention. "If you ever happen to come across an ocean-eyed whisker-marked blond in a place where no human can go on their own, ensure he is well cared for. Consider that… my final request," he said solemnly.

"Very well, Chi Master Fung. I shall do as you ask," Uncle said bowing in reverence before turning around, committing that tidbit to memory were he to ever come across "an ocean-eyed whisker-marked blond in a place where no human can go on their own".

"One _more _thing," Chi Master Fung said stopping uncle short. "Be sure he goes to a nice family. It is what he deserves after his years of loneliness. One _more _thing. Don't let him eat too much ramen. He'll never hit that growth spurt if he does. One _more _thing. Get him to stop wearing that kill-me-orange jumpsuit if he is still wearing it. It's gotten him into more trouble than he knows. One _more _thing. Be sure he finds himself a nice girl. One _more _thing…"

And it pretty much went on like that for a full hour or so. The majority had nothing to do with the "ocean-eyed whisker-marked blond" though.

_***Flashback End***_

"You _know_ him?" Jade asked, whereas the blond was a bit wary of the floating head having actually _recognized _him.

"No, not directly, though I _do _recognize him," Uncle's floating head spoke before shaking his… head. "How I know him isn't important right now. Jade, are you okay?"

"Tch, just lost," Jade sighed. "But listen, I found another _human _in here, his name is-"

"Not important," Uncle cut in, Naruto huffing but decided to let the girl talk to her… uncle? "Listen closely, we are trying to find the Eighth Door."

"Shen_du's _door," Jade responded, Naruto recognizing the name only briefly.

"You know about that?"

"The demons are looking for it _too_. Shendu told them he's going to open it up so they can all break out," Jade explained worriedly, Naruto flinching at the very mentioning of them. He wasn't sure how time worked there, but if what Jade said was correct, then he'd been putting up with them for nine _hundred _years. The very thought of them all escaping sent shivers down his spine.

"*_Gasp*_ Shendu deceives them," Uncle gasped, his eyes looking over the girl, then the blond whom he recognized before turning back to the door. "Jade, listen to me. While only one demon may exit the portal, it may be possible for two _humans _to escape."

"So how do I _find _the portal uncle?" Jade asked. After hearing the blond's story, she wanted nothing more than to help him get out. If she left him there, she'd never hear all the parts of his story that he left out.

"When I know where it is, I will lead you there myself," Uncle answered. "Until then, do not allow yourself to be separated. I will tell you why when you have returned safely," he said before he disappeared.

"Go Uncle," Jade said with a smile as she put her hands on her hips. "Did you hear that Naruto? We're going to get out of here. The both of us," she said happily.

"One more thing," Uncle's head said reappearing. "I cannot know _where _it is unless I know how the Pan'ku Box _works_. Jackie said you were good with puzzles," he said, Jade's hand going to her chin in thought, while Naruto stood off to the side not wanting to distract her. If the floating… head's words were true, then he'd need the girl to help the old man's head learn how the Pan'ku Box was supposed to work. After a few minutes of thought, the girl's eyes widened in realization.

"Those little lines on the Pan'ku Box!"

"The trigrams?" Uncle asked, Naruto remembering Neji mention something like that in their fight. Oh, the days. So many memories.

"Yeah, those. Tell Jackie the trigrams must be the key."

"I will _do _that Jaaade…" the floating head wailed before it disappeared.

"Hey Jade, come to think of it…" Naruto said. "What were _you _doing before getting thrown in here?" he asked, the girl going on to explain, though something in the back of her head told her she was forgetting something _veeery _important.

* * *

><p>Elsewhere Hsi Wu was floating about, his chin on his fist as he floated about. Being the sky demon sorcerer, he possessed <em>some <em>levitational capabilities. That combined with the low-gravity of this plane, and he could float about for eternity until he hit something, be it a piece of rock, his sister Po Kong's fat _hide_.

"Time _flies _when you're waiting for a cell door to open," he sighed, Jade's Melvin Moose camera whacking him in the back of the head, which he snatched out of the air before growling at it angrily.

* * *

><p>"Where's my camera?" Jade asked looking around after Uncle left. "I was sure it was right here."<p>

"You _lost_ it!" Naruto cried in panic. "If that thing finds its way to one of the sorcerers, it could lead them right _to _us! What were you _thinking _letting that thing go?"

"Hey, I wasn't expecting my uncle's floating head to appear out of _nowhere _like that! He freaked me out!" Jade argued.

"You've come face to face with all _eight _demon sorcerers! How can _anything _scare you?" Naruto shouted back. The fact that the girl had no ninja training and she _still _survived the encounters spoke _wonders _for her ability.

"Look, no big deal, okay? I mean, this place goes on forever. What are the chances that one of the demons will find-"

"**Oh, Jade. Say Chi Spell,"** Hsi Wu said as he swooped down towards them, Marvin Moose camera in hand as he eyed the girl, his crimson orbs then landing on the blond before his jagged mouth curled up into a smile. **"Well, well, look what I found **_**here**_**. The Kyuubi Jinchuriki that has escaped our grasp for so many times before. Wait 'til the others see **_**this**_**…"** he said as he descended towards them, Naruto's hand about to go to his kunai holster only for the demon to grab them by the backs of their shirts with the talons on his feet, carrying them away like a bird of prey.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile outside the Demon Netherworld, right along Hong Kong's seaboard, Jackie Chan, Uncle, and Tohru all took a military jeep down the winding road along the coast, having solved the puzzle of the Pan'ku Box, and were now heading towards Shendu's portal.<p>

"Nothing yet, Uncle," Jackie said holding up the box.

"According to the Pan'ku Box, the eighth door should lie just beyond this tunnel," Uncle said pointing to the tunnel they were approaching. "One more thing. When you get ready to catch Jade, be sure to spread your arms _thiiis _wide," Uncle said holding his arms away from himself.

"But why, Uncle?" Jackie asked, only to get a finger thwack to the forehead.

"Do not question Un_cllle_," Uncle chided as the jeep drove through the tunnel, the three passengers gaping at the sight that greeted them after the Pan'ku Box activated.

* * *

><p>"<strong>Brothers and sisters<strong>," Hsi Wu said as he landed on a floating panel amongst his siblings. **"I bring you the mortal called Jade, as well as the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki that has escaped our grasp for so long."**

"**Ah, the human that bears the power of a tailed beast," **Tso Lan said drumming his fingers together as he gazed upon the captured form of Naruto. **"How fortuitous. I was almost beginning to feel guilty at merely **_**leaving **_**you here. You have just been **_**so **_**intertaining through the past centuried, I could almost not imagine life without your presence,"** he said in a tone that implied he was using an inside joke that he and the others knew about.

"**Mmmm. Yummy,"** Po Kong said licking her lips s she directed her gaze towards Jade, the girl gasping before her eyes then landed on Naruto, narrowing in disgust. **"Oogh. The orange tummy ache with **_**feet**_**. Your presence, I could do with**_**out**_**."**

"What'd you ever do to _her_?" Jade asked. If Po Kong thought she was "yummy" after ganging up on her like she did, she wondered what _Naruto _could've done to make her call him a "tummy ache".

"**Allow me to answer that with an amusing tale,"** Tso Lan said tapping his fingers together. **"You see, it was some time after we had all been imprisoned here when we came across our young **_**friend **_**here," **he said gesturing to Naruto. **"Pursuing him, it was Po Kong who caught him first, when he thought she was simply a part of the landscape."**

_***Flashback***_

"**Mmmmmmm. Finger food,"** Po Kong chuckled as she held the flailing blond between her fingers, holding him above her head while her brothers and sister watched on.

"**I saw him first. The boy should be **_**my **_**prize,"** Dai Gui bellowed.

"**I caught him first, so **_**I **_**shall receive the reward,"** Po Kong said back.

"**Shaaaaaa. You had better enjoy it while you can. That will likely be the only snack **_**any **_**of us get for a long time,"** Bai Tza hissed.

"**Mmmmmm. Down the hatch,"** Po Kong giggled before she let the boy go, dropping him into her mouth which she closed. **"Yummy,"** she sighed, only for her hands to go to her chest, her cheeks puffing out as she squirmed in discomfort.

"**Sister you had better **_**not **_**waste the only meal **_**any **_**of us here are going to get!"** Hssi Wu hissed at his sister, the other demons watching in morbid fascination before Po Kong spit out the just-eaten blond… As well as several hundred copies of him.

_***Flashback End***_

"Was _that _the technique you learned from that scroll?" Jade asked in shock, Naruto nodding his head in agreement, not knowing that Jade had shared a similar experience.

"**Yes. The boy proved to be interesting… sport,"** Tchang Zu bellowed with a chuckle, Naruto scowling in his direction, remembering the lightning bolts he'd nearly taken up the ass because of him. Reminded him too much of that traitor Sasuke for his tastes.

"**And from that time we would hunt him for sport, though he would escape our grasp every time,"** Xiao Fung said with a hint of.. amusement, in his tone. **"After all, what _else _were we to do within these confines?"** he asked as though it _justified _hunting the boy down for the past 900 years, depending on the time differential.

"**And with me finding him, I believe that puts me even **_**further **_**ahead of **_**you**_**, brother,"** the two's captor chuckled towards Tchang Zu, the proud demon growling at his younger and supposedly _inferior _brother It was at that time that the floating head of Uncle appeared behind the eight demon sorcerers and out of notice, the glowing head gasping before a sly look appeared on Jade's face. One Naruto himself recognized from his times as a prankster.

"Uh, if you _all _think you're getting out, well, I hate to break it to you, but, Shendu's lying," she said examining the nails on her right hand, said statement earning murmurs along the demons, Jade and Uncle winking at one another before the latter disappeared. Also, while Jade _could've _escape Hsi Wu's grasp earlier, it was a long way down, and she didn't want to risk falling through the bottom of that place. "Only _one _of you can go through the portal," she then said, leaving out the possibility of her _and _Naruto escaping. "End of story."

"**How do **_**you **_**know?"** Dai Gui demanded.

"Uncle told me," Jade said simply.

"**The Chi Wizard!"** Bai Tza hised.

"**So Shendu **_**did **_**deceive us,"** Tso Lan stated.

"_**That's **_**a surprise,"** Xiao Fung quipped sarcastically.

"So uh, which one of you is it going to be?" Jade asked casually. Naruto was liking the girl more and more by the minute.

"**Surely there must be a **_**civil **_**way to resolve this,"** the frog-like demon stated.

"**Like what? Alphabetical _order_?"** Tso Lan asked dryly.

* * *

><p>Several minutes later, the seven demon siblings bickering amongst themselves whereas Jade and Naruto simply chose to bind their time, not letting on to the plot forming in their minds, , an ethereal blue gateway resembling a torii appeared out of thin air, the astral form of Shendu being spit out before it settled itself before its siblings.<p>

"**Ah, brothers and… sisters,"** the demon said meekly.

"Whoa. Haven't seen _that _before," Naruto gaped at the sight of the ethereal dragon, all eyes then turning to the vacant portal, which was simply sitting there.

"**The portal!"** Bai Tza gasped at the realization.

"**Every demon for himself,"** Hsi Wu said dropping the two before flying off, Tchang Zu striking him in the back with a lightning bolt, Bai Tza vaulting over his head making a break for the door, only for Po Kong to slash down on her sister, reducing her to water while she dragged her way towards the portal. As this was all going on, Jade and Naruto made their way towards the portal, while avoiding getting caught in the crossfire.

"Jade, even though we've only known one another for a few minutes, I want you to know that it was an honor to meet someone like you… before my time came," Naruto told the girl. While the girl looked a _little _like Sakura, with her hair brushed behind her ears and her pranking nature, she was more akin to the ideal girlfriend. _Where did that come from? _he asked himself.

"What are you talking about?" Jade cried as the two of them leapt from stone to stone around the conflict. "You sound like you aren't going to make it _out _of here."

"It would be great and good if the both of us could make it through that portal, but there isn't any guarantee that the both of us would get to go if we reached that portal. If you got trapped here because we _both_ tried to get back, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. That's why I'll remain here, and buy you the time you need," Naruto said only to get a finger whack to the forehead, courtesy of Jade's left middle and index fingers. _Reminds me of Neji's Juuken, _he thought to himself.

"What kind of attitude is that? You sound like you've already given up," Jade chided. "Besides, you heard the floating head. The gate only allows one demon through, but two people should be able to get through just fine."

"How do you know that?" Naruto asked ducking under a stray lightning bolt.

"Hey, let's just say I have a knack for this kind of thing," Jade said giving the blond a thumbs up, said blond smiling while shaking his head. This girl reminded him so much of himself, it was… scary, yet refreshing at the same time.

"Alright. I won't give up," Naruto said looking over his shoulder. "Come on, Jade. Let's double-time," he said tucking the girl under his arm before he began leaping from one platform to another at near-Rabbit speeds.

While the two had chatted, the seven demon sorcerers continued to fight amongst themselves as they made their way towards the portal, knocking one another down like dominos. Tso Lan had thrown Po Kong back with his moon magic, flattening Xiao Fung who was hopping from one platform to another under the sorceress' massive behind. Dai Gui however caught up quickly and was about to get to the portal, only for large boulders courtesy of Hsi Wu to knock them to the ground, the Sky Demon gaining a significant lead over the others.

"Hsi Wu," a familiar voice said catching his attention, his eyes landing on the forms of both Jade and Naruto who stood before the last portal, both looking at him tauntingly.

"See ya! Wouldn't wanna _be _ya!" Naruto snickered as Jade grasped his wrist with both hands and held on tightly to his forearm, throwing herself through the final portal with Naruto close behind her, the blond giving a mock salute as he did. Hsi Wu, attempting to make one last bid for freedom, shot through the air as fast as he could, only for the portal to close completely at the last second, the Sky Demon ramming right into a large piece of rock that happened to be right behind the eighth and final portal, dropping like a fly a moment later.

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><p>Meanwhile outside at Hong Kong Moose World, Jackie, Uncle, and Tohru all watched on in worry as the final portal began to close, a bright green flash of light gave way to not one, but <em>two <em>figures, both of which flew towards Jackie who, unfortunately, failed to heed Uncle's advice, and so was flattened by two flashes of orange.

"Oooooogh…" Jackie groaned as he looked up, spotting a blond-haired youth sitting on his chest beside Jade. "Jade… explain," he said sternly, though glad she was alright.

"Uncle will explain on way home," Uncle cut in. "Naruto, are you alright?" he then said facing the boy.

"Yeah… But how do you know my name?" the blond asked warily.

"Did you not _hear _Uncle? I said I would explain on way _hooome_!" the old man griped, then sighed in relief. "With this, all eight portals are finally sealed. Forever."

"Whipee!" a familiar voice to all except Naruto said from atop the giant moose head. "He's gone! He's gone, gone, gone!"

"Why's that guy wearing a _dress_?" Naruto asked before the man suddenly ripped it in half away from himself, Naruto recoiling, but then relaxing when he saw the man still had clothes on underneath. As the strange man continued to celebrate some form of victory atop the moose head, the gate in its mouth opened, a man with messy hair, eyebrows, and a tri-pointed goatee stepping out wearing red-buttoned overalls over a yellow outfit, a blue-masked yellow-furred moose head under his shoulder stepped out. While he didn't notice the strange man top the giant moose, what he _did _notice was the group of five in the middle of the now-empty parking lot. And not just because of the sumo, who in truth was quite _small _for a sumo.

"_*Gasp*_ Can we Jackie?" the girl asked to her uncle, the man looking to the blond that had accompanied her, rubbing the building bruise before relenting. If he were bad, Jade wouldn't have let him through the final portal with her, and Uncle probably _knew _they'd be having the additional guest with the "be sure to spread your arms _thiiis _wide" comment earlier. With a nod in confirmation, the gril grabbed Naruto's wrist before dragging him along with her, a smile on her face as she ran up to the moose-themed-costume-wearing American.

"Um… We're not really… You're kind of early but…" the man said as he looked down at the two kids in front of him, the girl smiling and looking at him with wide expectant eyes, while the blond scratched the back of his head nervously. "Aw," he sighed with a smile before he pulled the moose-head onto his head. "Hyuck. Welcome to Moose World. Hyuck," he _hyuck_'d as he held one arm out to the gate, mussing up the two's hair before opening the gate for them.

"Through the portal, we go," Jackie said beside them waving them in, Jade dragging Naruto along excitedly before he decided to just relax and join in on the fun, feeling the wind in his hair, the sun in his face, and solid ground beneath his feet in what felt like an eternity, an ear-to-ear grin pulling at the corners of his face as, unknown to him, he stepped into a brand new life.

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><p><strong>Author's Notes:<br>There have been plenty of Naruto/Jackie Chan crossovers where Naruto gets the power of the 12 Talasmins, the Demon Masks, the Demon Chi, or all of the above (makes some of them hard to read because where's the **_**conflict**_**?). However, this is the first time Naruto will have ever become part of the Jackie Chan **_**Adventures**_** storyline, instead of the other way around. Hope you like the premise, even though updates will be slow. Kinda wanted to get this out for bragging rights and maybe start a trend this way.**

**On note of the (Jade's POV) and (Normal POV) tabs, that'll just be a little something I'll do when working with different character's perspective. As for Naruto ending up there the way he did and being more mellowed out and actually seeing Sasuke as a traitor (Naruto for the most part is "Canon Naruto" up to that point), that'll be cleared up in the next chapter if it hasn't already been so.**

**Anyway, next chapter will be Naruto joining the Chan Clan. As for the rest, you'll just have to wait and see, and since this story is still a work in progress, that probably won't be a while.**

**Until then. See ya! Wouldn't wanna **_**be**_** ya!**


	2. Meeting the Modern World

**Hello all, sorry for the long wait, but I had college stuff to finish up, and now that it's summer, I should be able to update a few of my stories. Hope this one is worth the wait. Enjoy.**

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><p>For several hours after getting out of the Demon Netherworld, Jade dragged Naruto all across Hong Kong Moose World with all the enthusiasm a child her size and age possessed, showing him all the sights that he'd missed out on during both his not-so-pleasant childhood, as well as his time being trapped beyond the eight demon portals. Despite their difference in height and size, the petite girl continued to drag the blond about as though he were a giant plush toy, though he didn't seem to complain. In fact the smile on his face never left, growing wider when the people began to pour in and none of them shot him hate-filled glares or treated him like a leper, some even calling him cute because of his whisker marks.<p>

Back with the adults, Jackie would occasionally ask Uncle how he knew about the boy while he watched said blond, only for Uncle to continue telling him he'd say on the way back, or "Not important." When pressed for details, Uncle finally yielded, saying it was Chi Master Fung's last wish, and though it was vague, Naruto fit the required criteria eerily-precisely. Given no one had _any _idea what Chi Master Fung was like, the archaeologist decided to leave it at that for the time being. Plus, in a way, Jackie could see that Naruto and Jade were quite similar, and it would be good for her to have someone her own age to talk to, and it could even divert her away from some of the more _dangerous _elements of his line of work.

Of course… he also feared for his heart in the foreseeable future if he had the same tendency of coming out of nowhere that Jade did as well. If he didn't eat as healthy as he did, he might've developed a whole _slew _of cardiac-related complications that would make things end rather badly.

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><p>"There's no way in <em>hell <em>I'm getting on that flying coffin! How can it fly when it can't even flap its _wings_?" Naruto cried hours later as the party of five made their way towards the jet the prior four used to get there, the orange-clad blond _–it still amazed Jackie as to how Naruto's clothing remained presentable after over nine hundred years- _being carried over Tohru's shoulder like a sack of rice. "I was _not _meant to fly!"

"_You'd think a guy who had to put up with demons for nearly a millennium wouldn't be afraid to fly,"_ Jackie whispered over his shoulder.

"Aiieeeyaaaahh!" Uncle cried as Tohru dragged him to the jet as well.

"_How _did you get him on that then exactly?" Jade asked her uncle.

"He was worried about you," the archaeologist answered. The next moment Jade went up in a puff of smoke, causing him to go- "Bwaaah!" and pat his chest. Looking around, both he and Tohru let out startled yelps when Jade suddenly found her way onto Tohru's shoulder, the whisker-marked blond now absent.

"Where did Naruto go? Come to think of it, how did _I _get here?" Jade asked as she looked around.

"You'll never take me alive!" Naruto cried as he ran as far away from the jet as he could without using ninja speed.

"Oogh. Bad day," Jackie sighed as he ran after the energetic blond. You'd think all the trouble would end once the demon portals were sealed. But you'd be wrong.

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><p>An hour later, in order to keep Naruto occupied on the plane and not head for the nearest door <em>–and end up depressurizing the plane as a result-<em>, Jade proceeded to tell Naruto everything she wanted _other _people to believe but they would never listen to, or Jackie would say it was too sensitive. Considering the blond was _literally _right in the middle of the Demon Netherworld, there wasn't really any use _hiding _anything from him, so much to Jackie's chagrin, Jade proceeded to run her mouth off for a full hour after takeoff, taking the time to answer any questions that the blond had.

"If these magic Talismans of yours can do what you _say _they do, then why don't you have them _here_?"

Like that one.

"Yeah, Jackie. Wouldn't sealing the Demon Gateways have been _much _easier with a little Talisman power?" Jade saw fit to ask.

"Jade, the Talismans are _not _a toy," the archaeologist chided.

"Neither is this _kunai_, but _I _still use it," Naruto said holding up the ningu, or ninja tool, from his hip holster by the ring on his pinkie.

_Thank goodness we don't have to contend with airport security, _Jackie thought to himself while Tohru urged Naruto to put the weapon away. If they took the _normal _way back to the states, he could only wonder what kinds of questions would be asked. He only hoped the blond wasn't as much of a loudmouth as Jade tended to be in these situations.

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><p>"These two seem <em>made <em>for one another don't they?" Tohru asked as after a few more hours, Naruto had proceeded to regale Jade with tales of his village, which by all rights shouldn't exist anymore. _Really_, if there was an entire _continent _of ninja whose skills and abilities rivaled those of the twelve Talismans, _someone _would notice. Especially in the twenty-first century when you had digital eyes in the sky which could be used to observe a fly breaking wind in India.

"Tell me about it," Jackie sighed. If, like Jade, Naruto inadvertently ended up getting involved in Section 13 affairs, then he'd now have to worry about _two _orange-clad children _–even though one was a teenager for several centuries- _flapping their gums and putting him in compromising positions. It didn't help matters that they were both so eerily similar in so many regards; Not wearing anything on their feet except their respective footwear, wearing bright orange, being incredibly headstrong and stubborn, resorting to violence first and foremost. The two of them really _were _made for one another.

"Man, that Sasuke guy sounds like a real _creep_," Jade huffed in exasperation after Naruto went into further detail as to how he had wound up in the Demon Netherworld. Naruto nearly gave Jackie a heart attack when he told him that he had a _demon _sealed in his stomach, since the archaeologist had obviously gotten _more _than his fill of demons, but no one saw fit to judge him, much to his relief. If Naruto actually _was _the demon everyone back in Konoha thought he was, then Konoha would be nothing but a smoking crater.

"Yeah, and I've got the scars to _show _for it," Naruto said lifting the fishnet shirt he had been wearing underneath his orange jacket, revealing a circular scar on his chest just above where his heart was. Had Jade known that there was a matching scar on the _back_, she wouldn't have been able to get to the bathroom fast enough, even _with _the Rabbit Talisman.

"But still, you could write _books _with all the stories you have," Jade said with a grin on her face. "I mean, I thought _I _had stories, but you lived that kind of life every _day_."

"Maybe someday," Naruto said as he scratched the back of his head. "As for now…" he said looking out the window. "I just want was every person is entitled to. A place to sleep and call home without having to worry about _demon _attacks every five minutes."

"Hey Jackie, why doesn't Naruto just stay with us in Section 13?" Jade questioned. All things considered, there really wasn't anywhere _else _the blond could go. Tohru already had the guest room in Uncle's shop, and while before it _could _have held two people, the big guy was at _least _as big as two people, heavy-set or otherwise.

"Well… Um…" Jackie wondered. They hadn't _really _discussed where Naruto would be staying, though they still had ten and a half hours, not including refueling, until they got back to California, so it wasn't like they were pressed for time or anything like that.

"Speak up, Jackie! I will not put the boy out on the _street_!" Uncle cried indignantly. Whatever Chi Master Fung had said to him, the spindly senior was _dead set _on making sure Naruto had a good home.

"_Sigh. _I suppose we can find a place for him," Jackie sighed.

"Cool! You can stay in my room! We can be _roommates_!" Jade said with a wide grin. "How do you feel about bunk beds?"

"_What _beds?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I have _much _to teach you, young grasshopper," Jade sighed with a small smile as she condescendingly pat the blonde's head, causing him to pout with squinted eyes. Jade would've gushed at the sight at how cute he looked with those whisker marks on his face, but she had an image to maintain. She could be girly on her own time.

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><p>The rest of the flight Jade had situated Naruto in front of a computer screen, filling him in on everything he missed and all the memes and troupes he'd be expected to know with the wonders of the internet. The novelty of that itself wore off after a few hours when Naruto learned first-hand how confusing it was to <em>navigate<em> through the internet, but the blonde did admit that it _was _useful for gathering information quickly. Still, leave him in a library long enough and his Kage Bunshin would be able to get him a law degree.

By the time they got back to the states, both Jade and Naruto were thoroughly exhausted, rings under their eyes and their bodies weary as their fatigue finally caught up with them. With the two in hand, Uncle and Tohru returned to the shop while Jackie dropped Jade and Naruto off in the prior's room back in Section 13. With his own mind and body weary from the events of the past couple days, he too flopped himself down in his bed, hoping to just get a few hours of sleep, now that Jade was no longer trapped in the Demon Netherworld.

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><p>"So… Mind telling me again just <em>why <em>Naruto has to spend all day with the medical department?" Jade asked Jackie as they walked through Section 13 the next morning. After being debriefed with Captain Black as to who the new addition to the Chan Clan was, the captain not being too surprised after all the weird stuff he's had to put up with since the Rooster Talisman surfaced, the first thing that had to be done apart from "updating" some papers would be to get the boy's vaccinations out of the way.

"Because, Jade, Naruto has been trapped in the Demon Realm for over nine _hundred _years. Even _if _he's a _Jinchuuriki_, his body is still medically considered several centuries out-of-date, so that means-"

"AIIEEYAAAAAHH! NEE_DLLLLES_!" a shrill voice cried from behind a door, which was then kicked out as a whisker-marked blond wearing a blue medical gown then climbed up the wall from behind the top of the doorframe, Jackie patting his beating heart as Naruto climbed up the walls like a Shadowkhan. "You didn't say anything about _needles_! Needles are evil! Pure EEEEEVIIIIIL!" the blond cried as he scuttled up the wall, those in Section 13 gaping while Jackie eased his palpitating heart.

"So… The kid really _is _some kind of ninja," Black said coming up to the two. While he _was _doubtful at first, regardless of all the weird stuff he's seen, seeing _was _believing, and everyone in the area was _definitely _seeing it.

"Yes, it would seem so," Jackie sighed, seeing the blond now up in the rafters. "Oh, I do not imagine we'll be getting Naruto those vaccinations any time soon."

"Relax Jackie. If you just let me borrow the Rooster Talisman, I'm sure I'll be able to talk Naruto down from there," Jade suggested.

"Jade, the Talismans are not meant to be used as a _toy_," Jackie scolded.

"Oh, so you'd rather have me climb up there with_out _the magic safety net?"

"Ah- No- But- Oh-hoh," Jackie groaned to himself. "Where do you come _up _with these things?"

"I'm getting the magic rooster. Be back in a minute," Jade said not waiting his answer as she turned on her heel and headed for the vault. The sooner Naruto got his shots, the sooner she could bring him to school and _prove _ninjas were real.

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><p>"Jade, that was <em>not <em>cool," Naruto groaned an hour later as he rubbed his sore biceps. After Jade had talked him down, having used the Rooster Talisman's power of Levitation to get _up _to him from where he was clutching to the upper scaffolding like a lifeline, she had talked him down from the rafters with the promise of ramen, only for Uncle to come out of nowhere and nerve-pinch him into unconsciousness. An hour later, he'd found his arms wrapped in bandages and extremely sore from all the shots given to him while he was out. Given, he'd be more angry at the girl for deceiving him like that, but he did understand that it had to be done. Plus the prospect of ramen was too good to resist. Being without it for over nine hundred years could do that to a guy. Time dilation notwithstanding.

"Look, I'm _sorry _I had Uncle ambush you like that, but now that you have your vaccinations, we don't have to worry about you getting sick over every little thing anymore," Jade responded.

"I still don't see why I even _needed _to get vaccinated. Isn't Jackie privy to those magic Talismans you mentioned?" he asked. Hey, the girl could talk, and she finally had someone her own age to talk _to _about magic stuff, so why would she pass such an opportunity up.

"Yeah, but if you're talking about the Healing Horse Talisman, then that's a no-go," Jade returned with a wave of her hand. "Uncle said something about how we shouldn't risk mixing up the different energies from the Talismans and your Biju _Chakra_, so that puts the Dog, Horse, Tiger, and Sheep Talismans off the table completely."

"Immortality and youthful energy, I have both in spades. Healing, I'm a fast healer already. Spiritual Balance, I suppose my evil side going rampant could be a problem. Astral Projection, I'd rather keep my soul in my body, thanks," Naruto tallied off. "Still, that just leaves Levitation, Invisibility, Motion to the Motionless, Heat Beam Eye Blasts, Super Strength, Super Speed, Shapeshifting, and Combustion," he said referring to the Rooster, Snake, Rat, Pig, Ox, Rabbit, Monkey, and Dragon Talismans in order. "I can still use _those _right?"

"Tch, if Jackie will ever _let _you," Jade sighed.

"Eh, it doesn't really matter to me," Naruto said shrugging his shoulders. "I still have the Henge, Kawamiri, Kage Bunshin, and Rasengan. It isn't like I actually _need _the Talismans to fight."

"Speaking of which… Think you could teach me?" Jade asked out of nowhere, Naruto being reminded of how Konohamaru had once wanted him to be his teacher as well. Ah, reminiscing.

"I'll… get back to you on that," Naruto thought to himself, a scent he thought he'd never smell again assaulting his nostrils, which he deeply inhaled. "Aaaaaaah, ramen, how I have missed your heavenly scent," he sighed, his stomach rumbling in agreement as he stalked towards its source.

"Come on, I owe you, so it's my treat," Jade said leading him into the ramen restaurant down the street from Uncle's shop.

"_**The girl has sealed her fate," **_the resident spirit within the blond said to himself, an amused grin tugging at his vulpine lips.

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><p>A half hour later, Jade had to call Jackie over because things got… <em>complicated<em> down at the noodle shop. At the moment she was standing by the door with her jaw slack and eyes wide, Tohru coming up behind her with Jackie in tow before he too adopted a similar expression. Given what was happening, the other customers could only gape as well, some taking pictures with their phones, while others recorded the events transpiring with their cameras to be later put on the internet.

_This will probably be on Youtube by the end of the day, _Jade thought to herself.

"Jade, what is it that you needed to call me for BWAAH!" Jackie cried when he saw the stacks of counter-to-ceiling bowls piled up around the blond, who at the moment was eating from _another _bowl.

"Where does he _put _it all?" Tohru asked in shock as the blond continued to eat. He may've been big, but it was all muscle, so where did the _blond _put it all?

"Well, heheh, he _has _been trapped in demon world for nine hundred something years," Jade chuckled nervously, seeing where this was heading.

"Oooogh," Jackie groaned, feeling his wallet getting lighter by the second.

"_*BUUUURP* _Ah," Naruto sighed after his final bowl. "My compliments to the chef," Naruto said giving a salute to the man, who at the moment could only gape at how much the blond had eaten.

"I'm going to have to _pay _for all that aren't I?" Jackie asked tiredly, Jade and Tohru nodding, causing Jackie's head to slump before he walked forward slid his card to the man behind the counter. _I feel my wallet getting lighter already, _he thought with a sigh.

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><p>After Jackie had gotten that whole mess at the noodle restaurant sorted out, the blond and Jade were taken back to Section 13 and put to bed. The realization that Uncle would be able to fulfill the late Chi Master Fung's will filled his old heart with joy, however, something at the back of his mind told him that there was something he was overlooking. In light of that, he decided to do some <em>reeeea-search<em>.

It was then late into the night that Uncle came upon an ancient tome he'd received from Chi Master Fung, the leather old and the pages yellowed with age, the title written in Chinese kanji. Upon it were five symbols spiraling around the title; one resembling a leaf, the second an hourglass, the third a cluster of stones, the fourth a set of waving lines, and the fifth a trio of clouds. Opening it, he came upon the first entry, one detailing a Child of Prophecy.

The origins of the child were frightening and harrowing, the child being born in the midst of a nine-tailed demon's, the Kyuubi no Yoko's, attack on the boy's home village. It was then that the village's leader, a man whom was said to move quicker than lightning, paid his life to seal the beast away into the form of his own infant child. It then went on to be told that the man's last will was stomped and spit upon, the child who was to be seen as a hero treated worse than the most vile of criminals. Though the child's heart slowly grew cold, a light of hope was kept aflame as he hoped to become the village's leader, and prove to the people that he was not the monster they saw him as, but a hero.

From then it detailed the boy's life as a ninja. Though the first of his tasks were menial, it then went on to tell how he saved an entire country from a tyrannous dictator, how he had drawn tears from a merciless demon, and that he vowed to himself to forge his own nindo; His own way of the ninja and path of life.

It then went on to say that towards his dream, he encountered one who believed all was dictated by fate, and that fate was absolute. However, the boy proved him wrong, besting him when destiny had supposedly said he was destined to lose. Then, a horrifying war took place within the village, and the Child of Prophecy, though he did not know it at the time, came to face one like him, who was burdened with the weight of a tailed demon upon his back, his heart long frozen in a shell of ice. However, the boy proved that one does not gain strength by fighting merely for yourself, but for others is when you become truly strong.

It then told about the blond's adventures throughout the land, where five great countries stood proudly. Retrieving the village's lost princess so she may lead it, breaking through the woman's hardened heart that was filled with grief and loss over her sibling and lover. Showing a coward the meaning of courage, and giving it back to him. Saving a princess from a cruel dictator in a snow-filled land. However, these good times were not meant to last, when one who craved only power and cared naught for anything else, left the village in pursuit of power.

After many trials, the Child of Prophecy came upon the Valley of the End, a battleground for climactic struggles in times past. There, the prophetical child faced down whom he saw as his best friend and brother, the two fighting with all their strength for their ideals. The prophetic child; to bring the one whom he saw as brother back to the village. The traitor; to sever the bonds he'd formed and acquire power in order to complete his vengeance.

As the fighting escalated, the boy drew upon the power that had separated him from those he wished to be recognized by. In return, the traitor turned to his own dark powers, transforming into a winged demon, his eyes darkening and his heart growing ever colder. It was when the fight reached its peak that the two brought the greatest of their power to bear against each other. The prophetic child; a spiraling crimson sphere. The traitor; a lance of lightning, colored black as his soul.

It was then that the powers collided, and though the exchange was brief, only one walked away, while the other disappeared. He who would walk away was the traitor, whom went on to acquire ever more power, fueled by his hatred. As for the prophetic child, he disappeared from the face of the world, never to be seen again.

"Betrayal… No matter what pains your foe may have caused you, the pain of the act itself stings far more than any wound of the flesh," Uncle sighed to himself as he continued to read. Chi Master Fung had instructed that he only read this text once his final will was realized, and he intended to do so.

From that point, the world slowly fell to darkness. Without the Child of Prophecy to spread his ideals through the world, the Elemental Countries slowly fell to chaos. Friend turned against friend, neighbors attacked one another, and eventually… came the great war.

A man bearing the moniker of one of the greatest shinobi of ages past declared war upon the five great countries. While he already obtained the power of seven of those who had to bear a demon's weight upon his back, he still required the final two to make nine. Summoning forth hordes of horrifying white monsters from the earth, the man with the spiral mask marched against the world, the dead rising from their graves and beckoning to his call. Both sides suffered greatly, the land torn asunder, entire countries lost to the ravages of war. However, many months later, the spiral-masked man then hastened his plans, combining eight of the nine powers into one singular being, from which he would then cast his gaze upon the world on the moon's face before bringing about an eternal peace.

However… it was not meant to be. Without the ninth power, the combination of the first eight failed horrendously, the powers amassed into a single form before dividing itself into eight new forms. None of which resembled the original eight. In place of the eight Biju stood those who would subjugate the ancient world.

The Eight Demon Sorcerers.

Having obtained corporeal form and sentient thought, the eight dragon-like demons bearing power the likes of which had never been seen, those who would become known as the Eight Demon Sorcerers ravaged the land. Fire, Water, Earth, Wind, Thunder, Sky, Moon, Mountain. All eight forms terrorized the land, those who could fight remaining in their homelands to face this new evil unleashed, while those with friends and families fled, the Elemental Countries falling to ruin behind them as they fled to what would soon become the Chinese Empire.

Many moons after the once great nation of the ninja had fallen, lost beneath the waves for all eternity, the Eight Demon Sorcerers then descended upon the mainland, portions of China slowly falling to their will. However, the descendents of those who fled the lost land rose up. Though they descended from different people, times, and villages, those who had gained new power stepped forward to end what their predecessors had failed to do. By using powerful magics, seven of the eight Demon Sorcerers were cast away, falling into the Demon Netherworld whereas the final demon, the Sorcerer of Fire Shendu, was the last to be slain, done in by his own subjects using a powerful Chi spell, his body imprisoned in a stone effigy of himself, and the twelve Talismans from which he drew his power cast to the winds.

Closing the book, Uncle sighed heavily, the true meaning of the tale finally coming to the forefront of his mind. The Child of Prophecy _had _disappeared from the world, his own which descended into ruin when he was no longer there to protect it. However, when his master gave him this tone, as well as his final will, the "ocean-eyed whisker-marked blond" of which he spoke having been returned to the human realm, the Child of Prophecy had been returned to the world, ages having past, his ancient home lost to the annals of time.

"Sometimes, the truth can hurt more when revealed, than when concealed," Uncle told himself as he gathered a few ingredients, casting a Chi spell upon the book. "Yu mo gwe gwai fai de zao. Yu mo gwe gwai fai de zao. Yu mo gwe gwai fai de zao," he chanted as he waved his blowfish upon the tome, the cover changing to something completely unassuming before he placed it within the back of his desk.

"Chi Master Fung, I will do as you have asked of me. I shall raise the boy, give him the life he was not able to attain on his own. Do for him which was not done for those in the past who had borne a demon's weight upon their shoulders," Uncle prayed in reverence to his late master. "Sorrowing, that it is only when his homeland and birthplace are gone, that he may be able to find peace."

And with that Uncle went to bed, hoping if the boy ever found out what happened to his home, that he would forgive an old man for trying to conceal it from him. Sometimes, the truth hurt more than the lies told.

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><p><strong>Well, hope you like this second chapter, taking place before the advent of <strong>**Jackie Chan Adventures**** Season 3: The Talisman-Powered Animals. The next few chapters are mostly filler, but should be nonetheless entertaining. There are still a few things our intrepid blond has to learn before he's ready for the **_**real **_**world, so look forward to future updates.**


	3. The Mother of All Battles

**Hey all! Thank you for all the positive comments in Reviews as of last chapter. It really motivates an author to keep writing (when they **_**can **_**mind you, I can't stress enough the fact that some of us don't have the liberty of endless free time and no responsibilities). However, if I do something wrong or a chapter falls short of expectations, pointing those occurrences out will help just as much as the compliments.**

**As long as it isn't Flames. I'm not a big fan of those if people insult me for the novelty of insulting me and me being unable to do anything about it. You know, cyber bullying; that shit gets people killed.**

**Lastly before we get this chapter underway, egging me on to update does **_**not **_**help me update faster. It does the opposite in fact, so if you could stop sending me "Why can't you update soon?" type messages, and you know who you are, I'd appreciate that.**

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><p>"So you're telling me that Shendu took over Jackie's body, had him change an entry in some magic book hidden under a <em>giant <em>rock in Australia, altered history, you were able to change it back because you ripped out the corner of a page with _your _entry on it, and after you got the Jade Team back together you were able to reset history and get me back out of the Demon Netherworld?" Naruto asked Jade a few days later as the two of them dusted products in Uncle's shop. After getting some new clothing since he only had one outfit _–and running from demons caused it to get pretty worn out-_, Naruto was now wearing a loose-fitting denim jacket that was dyed a burnt orange _–Jackie was still amazed they even _came _in that color-_, a black T-shirt with a blue whirlpool design on the front, and loose-fitting camouflage-pattern cargo shorts that stopped below the knees. In place of his sandals which also needed some maintenance he now wore a pair of dark blue converse sneakers, his hitae-ate still tied around his head so to keep his bangs out of his eyes, though the cloth was replaced with a longer black bandana since the old blue one had singe marks. I won't tell you who made them since it would be obvious.

"Pretty much, yeah," Jade answered. "At first I was confused when you were nowhere to be found, especially with how fondly the Demon Sorcerers thought of you, like you were live game."

"Wow. Don't _I _feel special," Naruto huffed sarcastically.

"But then I realized that because the Demon Sorcerers never got sealed away or had to get _re_-sealed, that you were still stuck in the Demon Netherworld because _I _never wound up there to get you out. Thankfully the temporal re-write reset everything. I'd hate for you to be back there. You're the only one Jackie lets me talk to about _any_thing."

"Well, I guess that'd explain why I don't remember anything and why everyone was acting to _weird _when we visited your parents," Naruto said crossing his arms and tilting his head to the side, remembering how everyone was walking on eggshells at the mention of the word "demon".

"Ugh. _Tell _me about it," Jade sighed. If it wasn't the whole _demon _thing, it was Viper and her mom repetitively asking her if she and Naruto were a _couple_. For some reason though, the prospect wasn't _that _unappealing. Thankfully she was able to avoid the whole "birds and the bees" talk for another time. She was only twelve after all.

A moment later, the bell on the door ringing as Jackie came in, the blond's centires having let him know of the man's approach the moment he entered the block. "Welcome to Uncle's Rare Finds. How can I be of service to you today?" Naruto asked with a formal bow. After being taken into the Chan Clan, Uncle modestly asked if Naruto could help him out in the shop whenever he was able. A little fresh blood may do the place good. The blond wasn't really in any position to say "no" since he didn't really have anywhere elso to go.

"Now, now Naruto, you don't have to be so formal with BWAAAH!" Jackie said before crying out as he was greeted with the sight of numerous copies of Naruto all around the shop dusting everything, and I mean _everything_._ S_ome were clinging to the walls while others hung down from the ceiling by the bottoms of their feet, _l__iterally_. "Jade, you're grounded. No TV, for a year," he chastised his niece.

"Wha- But I didn't _do_ it this time!" Jade argued. "Naruto made his Shadow Clones so we'd get our work done faster!"

"Sh-Shadow Clones? How dumb do you think I am? I'd think that after what happened with Po Kong that you'd learn your _lesson_," he sighed.

"But Jackie…" Jade moaned dejectedly.

"Matte, matte Jackie-san, Jade-chan's right. This is _all me_, not any of this Chi Magic stuff I keep hearing about," Naruto said coming to her defense, the clones scattered around the shop going up in puffs of smoke, causing Jackie to jump up before he patted his heart.

"D-Don't _do _that!" the archaeologist cried, reminding himself to put more money into his health insurance policy. If _Jade _was bad for his cardial health, he could only imagine how bad it would be putting up with Jade _and _Naruto. Had he known Naruto vandalized the ninja equivalent to Mount Rushmore, he would've scheduled a bit of time with a _therapist_.

"Eh heh… Gomenasai…" Naruto said nervously. On a like note, after getting to know the Chan Clan better, Naruto had let some of his Japanese heritage slip through, whether it be some Japanese words in place of the English _–which he inexplicably learned from the seven Demon Sorcerers that hunted him down for sport-_ or addressing his new family with honorifics; Jackie-san, Jade-chan, Tohru-san, and Uncle-ojii. Ironically however, it was due to _Jade's _actions that prevented him from stumbling around blindly and making an idiot out of himself more than Uncle.

"Anyway, all this _clone_ business aside," Jackie said as he pulled a manila folder out of his shoulder bag. "I just got back from Captain Black. Your new papers have been put through, Naruto," he said as he passed it to Naruto.

"Hmmmm…" he hummed as he looked over its contents, as well as his official "cover story" since you can't just put **Elemental Countries **in the **Other **ethnicity box without raising a bunch of red flags. "Orphaned from birth… Lived off the grid in eastern Japan… Born on October 10th 1987… Adopted into the Chan family as of 2001…" he read off before handing it back to his adoptive uncle. "I don't see any problems with this."

"And now that _that _is out of the way, you can begin going to school like a _normal _thirteen year-old boy," Jackie said slipping it back into his bag.

"What part of being a demon family's chew toy is _normal _exactly?" the blond asked with a deadpan expression.

"Or being a real-life _ninja_?" Jade asked with a similar expression.

"Bu- Wha- Where do you come _up _with these things?" Jackie asked exasperatedly.

"I'd say TV, but I never watched it recreationally," Naruto said shrugging his shoulders, Jade gaping since apart from "adventuring" her life pretty much _was _TV. Jackie of course was just glad he wouldn't have to worry about _two _children wasting away in front of a TV screen. Even _if _one of them had been thirteen years old for longer than the United States had been established.

"Tohruuu! Where is my tea!-?" Uncle suddenly demanded out of nowhere.

"Tea…" the mountain of a man said tiredly as he came into the room, a tea kettle and cups loaded on a tray.

"It is abooout time," Uncle ranted as he continued to check the numbers in his book, Tohru walking off with a sigh and his shoulders sagged.

"_Geez, couldn't Uncle-ojii stand to loosen _up _a little?" _Naruto asked Jade over his shoulder from the stairwell.

"_Nu-uh. Tried that once. Didn't go over so well with Jackie,"_ Jade returned, Tohru accidentally knocking a statue and pot off their pedestals, only for Jackie to catch them at the last second.

"Oh, I just remembered!" Jade said as she ran down the staircase, catching Tohru before he could get back to the kitchen. "Hey Tohru. The Japanese Cultural Expo starts tomorrow, and Jackie says Naruto and I can't go without a chaperone. Think you'd be interested in the job?" she asked.

"Since when do you ever listen to what _Jackie _says?" Naruto asked, only for Jade to elbow him in the side causing him to grunt out. To answer her question, Tohru simply sighed in a downtrodden tone.

"Um, is something wrong big guy?" Jade asked.

"Forgetting _tea _is what is the matter!" Uncle suddenly cried out. "This is a pot of _water_!"

"Ooogh. Sorry…" Tohru sighed dejectedly, heading into the kitchen to get the teabags. Raising a brow at the sumo's depressed mood, Jade headed for the kitchen to talk to him while Naruto got back to his dusting. He didn't know Tohru that long so he wouldn't know what _was _wrong like Jade could.

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><p>A few minutes later, Tohru left the kitchen before sticking a tea bag in the hot water at the front desk, the man knocking another vase over only for Jade to catch it at the last second. As Naruto finished sweeping the last bit of dust from the corner into the dust pan, the front door opened setting the welcoming bell overhead off. Everyone's eyes turned to the door at the crack of lightning that punched its way through the sky, the blond wondering who opened the door before he looked down, catching sight of a little old lady shorter than he was.<p>

"Mommy," Tohru said with a smile as he walked towards the woman in question.

"Mommy?" Jackie and Uncle repeated in confusion.

"_Those things are even furrier than Bushy Brow's,"_ Naruto said to himself when he took note of the… _lady's_, eyebrows.

"_This _where you live?" the woman asked as she handed her umbrella to Tohru as she scrutinized the shop, dragging her finger along the top of a dusty table before saying- "You gave up good job with nice Mr. Valmont for _this_?" she asked distastefully.

"_Nice_?" Jade asked in shock.

"_Doesn't she know Valmont's a _crook_?"_ Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow.

"_No. And _please_, do not tell her,"_ Tohru pleaded, his mother commenting on how the establishment was a "junk shop" before Naruto intervened.

"This is an an_tique _store," Jade huffed indignantly. She may not've lived there anymore, but she was still proud.

"Huah. Only antique _I _see is the old _billy goat _there," she said jabbing a finger at Uncle.

"Billy goat!-?" Uncle asked as he pushed himself up from his desk.

"Mommy…"

"Hush up!" she demanded, causing Tohru to hang his head.

"Crabby lady should _watch _he forked tongue, unless she wants a piece of Uncle," the gray-haired man said jabbing a finger at himself.

"Hah! I would sweep floor with you! And this floor _needs _it," she said looking around.

"So I missed a dust bunny or two. Cut me some slack," Naruto huffed making his presence known.

"Awww, look at these _cheeks_, you look just like a baby kitsune," Mrs. T cooed as she pulled at Naruto's whisker-marked cheeks, much to his disdain.

"Take your hands off my charge, tarantula lady! He has been man-handled by e_nough _demons for _one _lifetiiime!" Uncle screeched as he yanked Naruto away from his opponent, dragging him off only for the lady's left eye to suddenly bug out, red veins pulsing and causing a chill to go up Naruto's spine.

"Evil eye cannot work on _meee_," Uncle said raising a finger without even turning around, the blond in his grasp simply shrugging the oppressive feeling off.

"Hah! What junk seller know about _work_?" she asked, Uncle whirling around leaving Naruto spinning, Jackie rushing in to stop the two before their confrontation became violent.

"So… Some family huh?" Naruto asked Jade from the side as they watched Jackie juggle a conversation with who the blond suspected to be Captain Black, while at the same time keeping Uncle and Mrs. T from ripping one another to shreds. "Man my cheeks hurt," he sighed as he rubbed his aching face.

"If it's any consolation, I think you've got the cutest little cheeks _I'v_e ever seen," Jade said patting the blond on the shoulder.

"I hope you mean the ones on my _face_," the blond sighed, watching as Tohru's mom forced Tohru to help escort her to a hotel since there wasn't anywhere for her to stay at Uncle's Rare Finds. _The big guy will come back soaked if he doesn't have an umbrella of his own, _Naruto sighed to himself. "Jade, watch the shop for me. I need to make sure Tohru has an umbrella to use on the way back," he said passing Jade the broom before grabbing a yellow raincoat and a large umbrella from the closet, heading out the door before disappearing into the rain. With a huff, the Chinese girl took to sweeping the shop in the blond's place, hoping he'd get back soon so she wouldn't have to do all the work.

Oh, and so she'd have someone to talk to too.

* * *

><p><em>The rain… <em>Naruto said to himself as he leapt along, wondering just how it was possible he could lose a _giant _like Tohru in the city like he had. _I used to not care much for it, but now… _he mused to himself as he stopped atop a hotel sign, his palm held upward as he caught a portion of the deluge in his hand. _It just proves I got out. That I have my freedom, _he thought to himself as he looked back up, wondering where the mass of a man he'd come to known as Tohru went. _Honestly, how _can _I lose someone that big? It doesn't make any sense._

Since he'd moved to Sanfrancisco, the blond had taken to scattering Shadow Clones in all directions once every couple hours, as to get a feel of the city he would be living in for until he decided to go somewhere else. At the moment he had a vague map etched into his mind, though to fill in the gaps he'd have to explore himself. He supposed that after school let out, he could do so during the free time he'd have in this "summer vacation" thing that Jade mentioned.

After several minutes of searching, the blond contemplating whether or not he should head back to the shop and simply _wait _for Tohru, the sound of a fight about to break up caught his attention. His cerulean eyes from within the cowl of his hood turned to one of the many sushi shops in the city, the very sumo he was waiting for stepping out into the rain, once again sopping wet. The blond was about to drop down to give him the extra-larger umbrella as so the man wouldn't get water-logged, however, an excessively long automobile _-a "limousine" as Jade called it-_ pulled up alongside him, the sumo apparently talking to the vehicle's passenger before he was let in. Now, he may not have learned too many of the new world's social nuances after he'd gotten out of the Demon Netherworld, but he _did _know that you're not supposed to take a ride from complete and total strangers.

Following after from a vantagepoint in the shadows, the limo brought Tohru in the general direction of Uncle's shop, stopping about halfway back before Tohru was let out. He and the passenger who'd offered him a ride, the term "there's no such thing as a free lunch" coming to mind as he observed, exchanged a few words before the limo drove off, leaving Tohru in the rain and the blond the opportunity to come down to him. However, since ninja weren't commonplace in this era, he had to drop down into a back alley before approaching Tohru from the street.

At the same time, Jade and Uncle were fighting their _own _battle of good versus evil. Not really the way one would want to spend a rainy day, _literally_.

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><p>"<em>You gave up good job with nice Mr. Valmont for <em>this_?"_

"_Servant in a _junk _shop_._"_

"_Kyoto Octopus."_

"_Serious payday. Buy yourself a car, just like this one."_

"_Grape."_

"If you keep holding your hand up like that, people will start to think you're weird," a familiar voice suddenly said, drawing Tohru out of his reverie to the source.

"Naruto?" Tohru asked in surprise.

"The one and only. You look like you could use this," the blond said handing Tohru the extra-large umbrella, the man taking notice of how wet he was before extending his hand.

"Arigatou," Tohru bowed formally, the blond bowing his head in return as the two made their way back to the shop.

"So… Did you make a new friend?" the blond asked as they turned the corner, Uncle's Rare Finds right around the corner.

"More of an acquaintance really," Tohru returned.

"_Cheap!"_

"_I am not cheap!"_

"Oh… My mother and sensei are fighting again," Tohru sighed.

"How… How did she even beat us _back _here?" Naruto asked aloud with a raised brow.

* * *

><p>"JAAADE! How do you <em>stop<em> these crazy things?" Naruto cried the next morning as he and Jade zipped through the expo, the girl herself on a green-colored motorized scooter from one of the displays, while he himself was on a pair of motorized in-line skates. True, these things helped him cover a lot of ground with less effort, but he found it kinda hard to _jump _with them on, and even if he _could _move quickly with them on, he could barely go in a straight line without Jade having to bail him out. At the least, it was convenient that there were helmets and pads in their sizes nearby so he wouldn't hurt himself.

"I told you Naruto, find your center," Jade sighed. He may've been a real-life ninja, but when it came to the modern world he was inept as a bull in a china shop. _Of course, it isn't like where he lived was really so advanced, _she thought to herself as they drove past some displays, mainly new-end appliances, kimonos, and a bejeweled cephalopod.

"Easy for _you _to say. You're riding a plank of metal with _wheels _on them. Mine are actually wedged under my _feet_," the blond huffed as he kept himself balanced. The fact that the motors whirred with even the slightest motion made it hard to stop.

"If Kepler made these, you'd probably be using _hover_-skates," the girl argued as they passed a new-age video game that looked like a mix between DDR and Guitar Hero. Throw in whack-a-mole and you've got a lawsuit waiting to happen.

"You mean the guy who tried hooking those probes up to me so I could power a jetpack with my chakra? Thanks but _no_ thanks," the blond huffed in return as he finally found his footing.

"Hey, a chakra-powered jetpack would be _awesome _for you," Jade argued.

"Maybe from _your _perspective, but I am _not _getting probed, _or _experimented on!" the blond huffed before seeing something to change the direction of their conversation. "Oh look, there's Jackie," he said pointing to the side. The man may've been wearing the same tan security uniform as everyone else, but he still stood out considering everyone else was either too thin or too fat to make an effective guard.

"Jade, Naruto, how did you two get in here?" Jackie asked as the two rolled up to him, Jade grasping the back of Naruto's jacket to get him to stop.

"Security's lousy," Jade answered matter-of-factly.

"You two have to leave. Things could get ugly," Jackie warned the two, the sounds of explosives going off a moment later. Turning to the nearest sets of doors, they slowly creaked open, a suspicious white fog beginning to seep in. "Go. Go go," Jackie ordered, the two shooting off before taking a left.

"So… You going to listen to what Jackie-san says?" Naruto asked looking over his shoulder.

"Come on Nar, you know me better than that," Jade said with a smile in return, addressing Naruto by her little _pet name _for him.

"Oogh. Now I know why Jackie supposedly says this all the time," Naruto said as the two circled back around, Jackie and Tohru fighting four Chinese guys in suits, the prior using a displayed kimono as a battering ram while the latter threw another guy into a very large gong. "Bad day," the blond sighed as he formed a few seal-less clones; a skill he came up with back in the Demon Netherworld since he had nothing _but _free time on his hands. The clones quickly slid a shuriken apiece under the pressure sensors for the display, whereas the original lifted the glass case and Jade made off with the octopus, the duo retreating through the smokescreen as Jackie and Tohru got gassed.

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><p>"Jackie and Tohru? Where?" Uncle asked as he answered the phone, Mrs. T standing next to him at that very moment.<p>

"Alright here's the deal! You give us the octopus, or your _boys_, do a meet-and-greet with the _shark_," the voice on the other end of the line demanded. "Marcus street Sushi Bar, one hour. Come through the front door, and come alone."

"Well?" Mrs. T asked as the phone was hung up.

"Nooo problem. Trade octopus for young ones. Wait, _ooone _problem."

"What?"

"I have nooctopus," Uncle answered.

"You do now," Naruto said from the stairs, the two having come in from the top floor window in the back so they wouldn't be seen _with_ the octopus. Be kinda hard to explain why two kids were walking around with a gold jewel-encrusted cephalopod.

"Pretty good for a _child_, huh?" Jade asked smugly as she held the gold jewel-encrusted cephalopod in her hands, Mrs. T huffing indignantly while Uncle smirked triumphantly. "Well? What're we waiting for? Tohru and Jackie _need _us."

"_Us_, not you," Mrs. T said liberating the octopus from Jade's grasp.

"_Me_, not _us_," Uncle retaliated as he liberated the octopus from _her _grip. "Youngster-napper says _come alone_."

"Hah. Foolish old junk monger cannot _handle _this alone."

"Uh, why don't I just-" Jade started-

"No!" the two said together, Jade huffing with crossed arms.

"_Oh Kami… they're in synch,"_ Naruto groaned to himself.

"I will phone Captain Black. In the meantime, stay here and _watch _the shop," Unle instructed as he and Mrs. T headed out the door.

"Hm. Watch the shop, huh?" Jade grumbled with crossed arms, looking to her left and right before turning to Naruto. "Oh Na-ru-to~" she said in a sing-song tone.

"_*Sigh* _I got it," the blond sighed as he formed a cross-tiger sign, a copy of him popping into existence next to the two. "You, watch the shop. Jade-chan and I will be back in a few."

"Yeah yeah, whatever," the clone huffed as he plopped himself down behind Uncle's desk and started to read a magazine. As soon as he was sure his creator and the cute girl in orange had left, the clone walked up to the window before changing the **OPEN **sign, to **CLOSED**. "There, I watched the shop. Now it's time for _this _indentured servant to make himself some _ramen_," the clone said heading for the kitchen. There had to be at least _one _instant ramen cup in the place.

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><p>Since Naruto and Jade realized that they had forgotten their motorized recreational vehicles <em>after <em>they had left the shop and were already a block away, the two had to spring for a bus to get to the Sushi Bar on Marcus street. From the back of the bus, Jade asked Naruto why he couldn't just give her a ride like they did when they made their escape from the Demon Netherworld, only for her to tell her that, in the middle of the day, there was too great a chance of them being spotted. Plus they were both wearing orange and would be heading towards a populated area; it would be ex_tremely _difficult to explain to the cops how he was doing something out of a ninja movie without wires. Arriving at the sushi bar, Jade was about to barge in through the back door until Naruto held her up by the scruff of her neck, feet kicking in the air until she turned to him with a huff.

"Naruto, what're you doing? We have to save Jackie and Tohru!"

"How about instead of bursting in and facing who _knows _how many bad guys, we find another way in apart from the obvious," the blond suggested.

"That coming from the guy who can make a thousand of himself?" the girl asked with a raised brow.

"One; a thousand clones won't _fit _in that sushi bar. Two; I'm trying to keep the fact that I can do that _under wraps _for the time being," the blond retorted as he looked around, his eyes catching sight of a grate a few feet above the nearby dumpster. "We'll go in through there."

"Think we'll fit?" Jade asked as she followed Naruto on top of the closed dumpster.

"Only one way to find out," Naruto replied as he pried the grate open and climbed in, Jade following behind.

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><p><span>"No one double-crosses the Yokonawa Mob, Tohru. You just made the biggest, dumbest, and <span>_last _mistake, of your life," a bearded man in nice clothes playing with a yo-yo said as he addressed Jackie and Tohru, who at the moment were being dangled above a tank with a hungry shark in it.

"But, you have a deal, right? Once you get the octopus, you set us free," Jackie reminded, only for the bearded man to laugh.

"Once we get the octopus, you and your chum, are going to _be _chum," the bearded man finished, his skinny henchman telling the big one what chum _was _while Tohru vocalized his distaste for fish. As this was going on, Naruto and Jade tip-toed through the airducts, looking into the room through a grate as they crawled towards a potential exit.

"_I see another grate just ahead. Let's kick it in and bust those two out," _Jade said as she motioned towards the grate, only for Naruto to bar her way a second time.

"_Matte. Uncle-ojii and Mrs. T-obaa are coming here with the octopus. When they have everyone's attention, _that's _when we'll strike,"_ the blond said as he flicked his wrist, a kunai sliding into his hand from his sleeve on a spring-loaded mechanism he had Kepler make for him.

* * *

><p>When Uncle and Mrs. T suddenly kicked the back door in, both Naruto and Jade dropped out of the air vent at the furthest corner of the room and ducked down behind a couple barrels of chum, completely undetected as the two seniors kept everyone's attention on them. Uncle and Mrs. T first attempted to negotiate the release of Jackie and Tohru, though the bearded man with the yo-yo would have no part of it, ordering that they <em>all <em>be thrown into the shark tank. The fighting quickly escalated, moving from the back room to the restaurant, leaving the bearded man to direct a bit of banter towards his captives before striking the green button on the wall with his yo-yo, lowering Jackie and Tohru into the shark tank.

"_Enough waiting, I'm moving now!"_ Jade said as she leapt out from behind her cover, running towards the bejeweled octopus. "Jackie! Tohru!"

"Jade! What are you doing here? Oh, never mind. Give us a hand," Jackie pleaded as they were lowered into the tank, Jade about to do so until the bearded man intercepted her path.

"Oh no you don't!" he growled, the man stepping in a briny puddle and slipping on his own two feet, skidding across the wet floor with Jade using his back as a stepping stone as she made her way to the wall. Right as she pressed the red button, the bearded man had gotten up, Kyoto Octopus in one hand, while a cleaver from a nearby cutting board was in the other.

The bearded man then threw the cleaver through the air in an arc in Jackie and Tohru's direction, the archaeologist panicking before a black knife met it en route and sent the two in opposite directions, the residential blond's right arm extended from the throw as he stepped into view, Jackie and Tohru saved from a dunk in the shark tank.

"Who're _you _supposed to be? Some kinda ninja?" the bearded man asked playing with his yo-yo, the kunai and cleaver wedged in the floor and wall in opposite directions from one another.

"Why don't you try and find out," Naruto said stepping between the man and the back door, a physical confrontation the only bypass to their impasse. With practiced skill, the bearded man whipped out his yo-yo at the blond's face, only for the blond to whip a shuriken into his palm before throwing it into the air in return, the throwing star shearing straight through the red plastic as it spun. With a startled yelp, the bearded man hit the floor, the bejeweled octopus almost sliding from his grasp. "You know, while I'd _like _to have a long drawn-out battle for no reason…" Naruto drawled out as the bearded man got up, a puff of smoke going off at the wall the shuriken had embedded itself into. "Somehow I'm just not feeling it," he finished as the man looked over his shoulder, his vision soon obscured by a large pot thrown over his head. Before he could yank it off, the sides were beat with a nearby ladle, his head ringing before the man finally yanked the kitchenware off his head. All he received however was a frying pan to the face, courtesy of one of Naruto's shadow clones who at this moment was smiling cheekily.

The group let out a collective sigh of relief, though Jackie and Tohru gaped when the sounds of fighting from the next room met their ears. The big guy from before stepped out through the curtains, only to mutter- "No more…" –before dropping to the floor, skinny guy with sunglasses following before Uncle and Mrs. T followed suit, dragging the two gang members who'd been at the front of the shop into the room before unceremoniously tossing them to the side. Not wanting to explain why there were _two _of the blond standing around, Jade yanked Naruto's kunai out of the wall before chucking it at the clone, whose eyes widened before he went up in a plume of smoke when the throwing knife punched through his chest, Mrs. T thinking she saw something only to dismiss it. Naruto of course did not, noticing how great a shot Jade was.

* * *

><p>With the Yokonawa Mob unconscious all around and the Kyoto Octopus secured after it's "theft" from the Japanese Cultural Expo, a quick phone call to Captain Black had a small squad called in to haul the mobsters off to prison. At the last moment the bearded man <em>–who Naruto and Jade still had no idea who he was-<em> cried out something about a clone or something, but since he was being hauled off to prison, no one paid it any mind. It was after the dust had finally settled, that Tohru's mother was finally able to tell her son her thoughts.

"I am very sorry for the unpleasantness, okaa-san," Tohru sighed, Mrs. T placing her hands on her son's cheeks, a stern look on her face before she replied-

"My brave little boy. You make your okaa-san proud," Mrs. T said with a smile on her face, Tohru looking at her with shock, always wanting to hear her say those words. "I am glad that you are not hurt, and… also glad you are with people who care about you. Jackie, Jade-chan, Naruto-kun, the billy goat," she addressed the group before facing Uncle.

"Ungh. Humph," Uncle growled as he narrowed his eyes behind his spectacles. "I will show you a billy goat. Heeyaaah! Yah!" he yelled, assuming, ironically, a goat stance only with his right leg raised.

"Hiiiii-ya-ya-ya-yah!" Mrs. T shrieked as she punched at the air before meeting Uncle head-on, Jackie once again trying to prevent a physical confrontation, only to have as much luck as the _last _two times. Zilch.

"Looks like the start of a beautiful relationship," Naruto sighed as he rubbed the bridge of his nose, knowing where this bout of the old versus the old was about to go from previous experience. This really wasn't any different from watching Shendu's nee-chan and nii-sans bickering amongst themselves like children.

"Uh, wanna go back to the Japanese Expo?" Jade asked.

"I have heard Kare Noke and her Yodeling Kabukis put on a _very _good show," Tohru replied with a smile, hoisting the two onto his broad shoulders. As Jade, Tohru, and Naruto left the sushi bar and walked down the street a myriad of sounds including a panicking archaeologist, two brawling seniors, and hundreds of dollars worth of collateral damage echoed into the background. With that chapter of their lives done and the dust settling, the sense of normalcy began to return.

Well, about as normal as an archaeologist/secret agent, sumo, a trained shinobi, and a chi wizard could be.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Notes:<br>In case no one remembers, while Uncle, Jackie, and Jade are Chinese, Narto, Tohru, and Mrs. T are **_**Japanese**_**, hence some of the language coming up. I thought it would be fun to include honorifics whenever the three of them are together since they _are _of Japanese descent.**

**Also. Given that Jade's date of birth was set in 1989 and she's 11 by the time the series starts (she's at LEAST 13 by the end of the series since 2 Chinese New Years events are confirmed in the series), the events of Jackie Chan Adventures most likely were set in the 2000s at an unspecified date.**


	4. Escapades Abroad & the Lotus Temple

**Everyone, welcome back to ****Jackie Chan Adventures: Child of Prophecy****. I found a bit of time this weekend and I was able to get an update out.  
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**For those of you who may be wondering, the story will undergo a transitionary phase (aka Filler) between the end of Season 2 and the beginning of Season 3. I'm unsure how many additional chapters there will be before the start of Season 3, but the next few will follow the same structure as this one; the events of certain episodes will be abridged before the main course comes around and is actually narrated.  
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**That is all I really had to say at the moment, so for the time being, please enjoy the next chapter of JCA:CoP.**

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><p>In the weeks following the Japanese Expo, which both Naruto and Jade still had the motorized recreational vehicles <em>from<em>, the blond shinobi, between academic lessons courtesy of Uncle, would learn what it _really _meant to be strung along a series of wild and chaotic escapades of the Chan Clan.

First major adventure abroad was when a colleague of Jackie's, Dr. Fredrick Connel, discovered what Jackie Chan called a "prehistoric humanoid", frozen within solid ice in a cave on the northernmost part of the world. Prior to entering the cave, both Naruto and Jade _–though she always argued it'd be "Jade and Naruto"- _discovered it was possible to get frostbite on your butt, even while wearing pants; of course, they were likely joking about the cold, which was well below freezing. Entering the maw-like mouth of the cave that Dr. Connel and his Inuit Laborers discovered the caveman in, the trio _–Uncle and Tohru had stayed behind at the research lab while Jackie helped Naruto and Jade broaden their horizons-_ discovered an eight foot tall "prehistoric humanoid". After getting back to the research lab with their frozen friend intact, while the others slept, Jade concocted what most would consider a foolish plan to get the engraved tusk translated; turn up the thermostat to 90 degrees Fahrenheit and let nature take its course. When Dwayne, Jade's name for the caveman after a friend of her's dad who had a really hair back, escaped into the tundra, the Chan Clan sans Tohru infiltrated the Inuit camp to discover the involvement of one Peter Bailey, a Black Marketeer _–the market, not the ethnicity- _who intended to sell the caveman to the highest bidder. While Jackie tried dumping Naruto and Jade off with Tohru during pursuit, the time-hopping blond was able to keep up with the 100 Horsepower snowmobile and half-dozen sled dogs with ease, much to the two's shock. Deftly cutting Dwayne free with a thrown shuriken, Jackie was left to deal with Peter and his harpoon gun in the most unconventional means; snowballs. While Jade and by extension Naruto bonded with Dwayne _–after feeding him cereal-_, they both agreed it was for the best that Dwayne remain in the arctic. After seeing their big furry friend off, Jackie had one last piece of business to attend to before returning to San Francisco. Preventing uncle from waging full-out war with the Inuit elder; as it turned out, arctic fish were really into mung beans wrapped in tea leaves.

Shortly after, the Chan Clan's next escapade took them to the east, in Calcutta India, where Jackie took both Naruto and Jade on a three day trip. Apart from the small complication in customs where the metal detector picked up Jackie's new filling _–after the last one was loosened by a Shiba statue upside the head-_, there were no complications on their way there from San Francisco. After being chased out the conference by a trio of yoga masters, and several hundred dollars of collateral damage, Naruto and Jade spotted Jackie being hauled into the back of a truck and taken away, but not by the yoga masters. As it turned out, the curator, the dentist, and historian, had been using Jackie's empty molar to carry a set of magic sutras that would cause the Ganges to dry up; all for the gold, silver, and riches that lay underneath. After the tactical use of a curry powder smokescreen, the trio dove down into the sewers to prevent the enchanted piece of silver from reaching the Ganges. One cleared-up misunderstanding, mystically-healed jaw, and liberated sutra later, the Chan Clan returned to San Francisco; curry powder in tow.

Next break they had, Jackie had invited Jade -_and by extension Naruto since Uncle would actually _encourage_ his use of Shadow Clones in the upkeep of the shop_-, on an expedition to the heart of South America. A British nobleman by the name of Mr. Reginald Smith, had agreed to give the museum Jackie worked at a rather _large _donation, on the condition that Jackie escort him to an isolated city in the heart of South America. One foiled panther attack and one mountain hike later, and the Chan Clan _–and tag-alongs-_ found themselves in the Lost City of the Muntabs; or rather, at the edge of the Muntab Cloak of Invisibility that kept the city sheltered from outside forces. After a somewhat violent greeting by the Muntab people and the capture of their group _–Jackie had urged Naruto, "no ninja tricks" when there were outsiders around-_, Jackie was made to traverse a Cave of Truth for their freedom, and made it out in one piece by the skin of his teeth. Soon after, a banquet was held in Jackie's honor, since none before him had ever entered the Cave of Truth and come out alive, though the festivities were soon ruined when Mr. Smith made off with the Chalice of Life. A quick trek into the jungle and a high-speed aerial chase later however, and the mystic cup was returned to its rightful place with the Muntab people. While normally burning the only means of navigating back to civilization would be a hindrance to their return trip, and subsequently return to school within the same week, a few of Naruto's clones carrying the two in shifts at high speed got them home before the day was out. Now that they no longer had to accommodate the nobleman and his butler _–whom which they left to their own devices-_, the blond got to cut loose and stretch his legs a bit.

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><p>"Man, those were some crazy times, huh, Naruto?" Jade asked as the two of them made their way through the bamboo groves in the heart of Japan in search of firewood for their camp. While back in the states, Jade had experimented with shortening the blond's name to just <em>"Nar"<em>, only, it sounded a lot better in her head than before it rolled off her tongue. As for what they were _doing_ in the heart of Japan, it was another case of Jade wanting to follow Jackie to get out of school, while Naruto followed along to keep an eye on her until it was Jackie's turn to do so when he inevitably caught on.

"I'll say. I thought my trip to Nami no Kuni was hectic, but if stuff like this happens every other week, I doubt I'll ever get bored here," the blond said bending some bamboo out of the way of their path. "Are you sure we should be this far away from the camp? Apart from that old dude that gives me the creeps, I really don't see a problem getting the firewood and getting back."

"Big _talk _coming from the guy who's got a cellphone," Jade grumbled as she adjusted the bundle of firewood in her arms. Jade tries getting a cellphone for a full year with no success, yet _Naruto _manages to get one after a couple months. Where's the justice in that? "Um... Naruto... Which way was camp again?" she then asked as she looked around trying to find some sense of familiarity. "Oh boy, this is exactly what happens before the creeping terrorist shows up," the girl said timidly as she backed away, Naruto's hand going t her shoulder and steadying her.

"Relax, Jade-chan. I've fought things _way _scarier than any knife-wielding hockey mask-wearing psychos. I'm pretty sure you're safe with me," the blond said as the two backpedaled at a slower pace, the cloud cover concealing the moon blowing away in the wind. A moment later the girl's back hit something, Jade turning around to see a large Komainu _–aka Japanese lion-dog- _statue and promptly freaked out, the blond catching the firewood with a few swipes of his hands while the girl at his side pat her heart after the startle.

"Whoa..." the girl gaped at the sight of a large, complicatedly-built, Japanese temple that she was _very _sure was not there before. "Okay... This was _not _here before," she reiterated.

"We should make our way back to camp and find Jackie," the blond said walking up the sides of the bamboo shoots like he would the side of a tree. "I'm pretty sure _this _is the Lotus Temple he was looking for," he said as he got past the halfway mark, only for the shaft to sway backwards leaving his head a foot above the ground. "Okay that went better in my head," he grumbled with crossed arms.

"We can bring Jackie in later. For now, let's take a look around while we're here," Jade said yanking Naruto off the bamboo shoot and up the temple stairs. Following after, wondering if he'd still be like that if he _hadn't _been trapped with the demonic peanut gallery for who-knows-how-long, the blond spotted an Edo period Han Kote discarded on the stonework, completely ignored yet in very good shape. Picking it up, he saw that while the glove was made of silk, the forearm was covered in a light layer of metal armor plating, a tekko plate covering the back, and leather hide sewn over the fingers for reinforcement.

"Huh. Fits like a glove," the blond noticed as he slipped his right hand into it and flexed his fingers, deciding to keep it as he followed after Jade; a little extra protection never hurt. Flexing his chakra coils as he made his way up the steps, the blond smirked as he was able to form a one-handed Rasengan floating an inch above his palm, all without the aid of a clone and in the span of a few seconds; a little something he worked out while trapped in the Demon Netherworld. "You know what? I think I'll keep this," he said as he dispelled the technique and made his way into the temple, stopping beside Jade at the sight of a Japanese girl Jade's age crying in the temple foyer, her attire most likely what a commoner of the Edo period would wear.

"Oh! You should not be here," the girl said in surprise as Jade made her presence known, revealing her hair had been done down in two ponytails with pink and brass clips holding the end together.

"Why? What's the matter?" Jade asked as she made her way forward. "Why are you crying?"

"Run from this place! Please!" the girl pleaded as her hands went to her head, a pair of bat wing-like antennae soon sprouting out of her forehead as she convulsed. Within moments her height nearly quadrupled, her body becoming covered in white fur, the antennae on her head changing into rabbit-like ears, her mouth filling with glistening fangs, with long claws protruding from her fingertips. Strangely enough, she still bore the two small ponytails that had framed the sides of her face.

"Whoa... Didn't see _that _coming," Naruto gaped before yanking Jade behind him with his left hand, holding out his right with the palm turned upward. Jade was about to make a witty quip about a major mood swing, only to stop short when a spiraling sphere of white and blue energy began to form in the blond's palm. "Rasengan!" the blond shouted as the energy coalesced into a solid sphere, the glowing ball of chakra impacting the transformed girl's stomach at his lunge forward. Upon impact, the demonic rabbit-like creature was sent thrown backward into the wall, the orange-sized ball of energy somehow carrying the kinetic force of a small car.

"Wha-Wha-What _was _that?" Jade gaped as the technique vanished.

"That would be my Rasengan," the blond spike as he gave a thumbs up, only for his demon-sensing-sense to alert him to the creature getting back to its feet. "RETREAT!" the blond called out as he threw Jade over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes before running out the temple door, the creature shaking its head before pursuing after them, only to impact an invisible wall right at the exit and was seemingly electrocuted. "Whoa. Who installed the electric fence?" the blond asked just short of the steps as the creature fell backwards, becoming the girl from before as though the demonic bunny was a mere illusion.

"I humbly _*pant pant* _beg forgiveness," the girl said in short order as she got up, bowing with clasped hands, cringing as her hand went to his stomach where she'd been struck before. "Itai itai itai..."

"Um... Sorry about that," Naruto apologized rubbing the back of his head after setting Jade down. Though the one he'd used was a low-level Rasengan, it could still throw a full-grown adult _–or a demonic bunny in this case- _across the room with slight to marginal injuries.

"So... What's with the major mood swing?" Jade asked after getting over the initial shock value.

"It is the power of the Lotus Temple that changes me," the girl answered. "I am forced to guard it against all intruders."

"Yeah, well, you should put up a '**Beware of Monster**' sign, or something," Jade returned as she pat the dust off her clothes.

"If you heard my tale, you would understand... Please," the girl said as she began to tear up, and not from the bruise forming on her stomach.

"Okay, I'll listen. As long as you don't go all _rwaaawr _on us," the Chinese girl returned. For the next few minutes, the girl, Ju-Lin, explained how she became the temple guardian. Five years ago, Ju-Lin had entered the forest against her father's wishes and become lost in the bamboo. Coming upon the Lotus Temple beneath the light of the full moon, the girl took refuge within its walls to shelter her from the cold. The next morning when the sun rose, the Lotus Temple, her included, disappeared; from that point forward, she had been made into the temple guardian. Jade called the hole in the story as to why Ju-Lin hadn't been attacked by the Lotus Temple's guardian before. As it turned out, the previous had found the means to escape, and though Ju-Lin had spent half a decade searching, she had no such luck. Seeking to beat "the system" as she always did, Jade found a way to circumvent the temple's demonic security system; have Ju-Lin _invite _them in, preventing them from being interpreted as intruders. Exchanging names, the trio set off to find a way to return Ju-Lin to her family.

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><p>Elsewhere, Jackie had grown worried when both Jade and Naruto failed to return to the camp within twenty minutes of going out for firewood. Going off after them but keeping track of his location in relation to the camp, the kung-fu archaeologist made his way through the bamboo before the accompanying monk's presence nearly gave him a heart attack. The aged man then pointed him towards the Lotus Temple, opting to allow him to enter first. Finding the temple doors opened, Jackie entered what resembled an Edo Period working of M. C. Escher in pursuit of the two orange-clad pre-teens.<p>

"WAAAAAAAAAH!" the archaeologist soon found himself screaming in the face of a white-furred rabbit-like demon _–and he should know, he turned Shendu _into _one with the Rabbit Talisman only for the demonic bunny to kick his ass in all of one second-_. "Uh... Heheh... Nice bunny," the Chan Man greeted weakly, only for the creature to roar in his face, sending his hair and his tears flowing backwards. "Bad day! Bad day! Bad day!" he cried out as he ran for his life, only for the thing to leap from wall to wall like some kind of ninja _–or maybe Naruto when he was feeling antsy-_. He soon found out the hard way that not _all _demonic bunnies breathed fire or shot lasers out of their eyes; this one shot ice breath like freaking Superman.

"Maybe I should've left a clone to stand guard out front?" Naruto asked as he and Jade made their way out the temple library as soon as they heard Jackie scream, shortly after Ju-Lin had begun turning white and fluffy.

"Ya think?" the Chinese girl questioned as she and Naruto made their way into the foyer around a revolving wall, completely missing the monk from before as he skulked around the place like a wood louse. Hearing something crash in the direction of the library, the two quickly made their way back up, finding the little bald man from before sprawled out beneath a pile of scrolls. In the center of the library surrounded by debris and strangely enough ice, were Jackie and Ju-Lin, who had just returned to normal. "Uncle Jackie! Are you- _*Gasp*_ What did you do to Ju-Lin?"

"She was a demon bunny! That shot _ice _from its mouth!" the man defended himself.

"That certainly explains the ice cubes," the blond noted as he kicked one with the tip of his sandal.

"Duh! It's her job! She's the temple guardian," Jade huffed as she checked on the girl, unconscious but unharmed. "It's a bizarro... _temple power _or something," she explained as the girl regained consciousness. "It turns her into a monster whenever there are intruders."

"Intruders..." Jackie mused, remembering the monk's words. _**"I would not want to... in**_**trude**_**."**_ "You _knew _about the temple guardian, didn't you?" Jackie then asked as he snatched the brass-tipped scroll from the man's hand while Naruto helped Ju-Lin to her feet.

"Of course. Ancient wisdom: the worm realizes he is bait, only after the fish bites," the man spoke with a hand behind his back before he threw it forward, launching Jackie across the room like Ryu using the Hadoken. Rounding on the three pre-teens after snatching the scroll out of the air, he held a glowing green sphere in his hand. While not anywhere close to the size of the blond's Rasengan, the energy in his hand still made the hairs on the back of his neck bristle.

Before the little man could use it on them however, Naruto lunged at him and engaged in a taijutsu battle. Despite his spindly build, the man was as spry as the blond was, despite the difference in age between them. Seeming to be evenly matched, the man leapt into the air and struck at Naruto with an energy ball only for the blond to dodge, the floor splintering beneath him as the blond leapt back.

"Ugh... In...truders..." Ju-Lin groaned as she held her head at the additional presence.

"Please don't tell me you're Hulking out again..." Jade spoke nervously as the Japanese girl began to transform. "Jackie..." she called out nervously as the girl began to turn white and furry, soon towering over everyone in the room.

"Oh crap," the blond muttered, the old man catching him in the stomach with a double palm thrust that threw him across the room and into a shelf, burying him beneath a pile of scrolls right as Jackie got up. While Jackie moved to defend himself from the ice-spewing demon bunny, Jade hopped onto Ju-Lin's back to try and talk some sense into her, and Naruto got himself out from beneath the pile of scrolls, the old man unfurled the Scroll of Hung-Chao he had procured earlier. While all hell broke loose behind him, the man's beady eyes landed upon a sign that looked like the Vulcan Salute, a pyramid-like symbol inscribed upon the palm.

"Intriguing," he spoke as he dipped a brush in the ink well and began copying it upon his own right palm, which soon began to grow with great power. Throwing out his hand, an emerald bolt of energy struck the transformed Ju-Lin, throwing Jade off her back and into Jackie's arms _–Naruto wondered what call there was to leap forward three feet into a flip, but didn't question it too much because it looked awesome-_ while the demon bunny was thrown against a wall. Narrowing his eyes on the old monk whose name he didn't care to learn, the blond rushed at him from the side as he was about to strike down Ju-Lin. At the moment Jackie ran over and scooped her out of the way, the blond lunged at him, the two grappling when the man caught sight of his presence. "Ancient wisdom: the tepid mouse does not strike at a tiger's claws."

"Yeah, well, I always thought of myself as a _fox_," the blond said with a smirk as his eyes flashed red with slit pupils, the bald man gaping at the sight, both completely unaware of the magic being transcribed into his right hand through the glove he wore. Dealing a wicked head butt to the little man, a spiral leaf symbol left above his brow, the little man scowling as he freed one of his hand before blasting the blond through the hole in the wall he'd just made.

"Ancient wisdom: the cornered rat finds peace in eternity," the rather rat-_like _man spoke as he held his hand out at Jackie, Jade, and the unconscious Ju-Lin. Running for their lives, Jackie carried Ju-Lin while Jade was able to drag Naruto out into the foyer, back where they started.

"The door!"

"Uncle Jackie, wait!" Jade called out, accidentally dropping Naruto as Jackie hit the same invisible wall Ju-Lin had before; the main difference however was neither of them were electrocuted this time. "I tried to tell you, she's trapped here. It's some kind of curse."

"Ooogh... Leave me Jade... Naruto... escape while you can..." Ju-Lin pleaded as she regained consciousness.

"I know all about being trapped someplace against your will, so there's no way I'm leaving you in here!" Naruto argued. "Right Jackie?"

"We... will try," the man answered after a moment's pause, the hallway behind them soon being blown out, jolting Naruto awake as the crest-bearing monk floated in, energy shooting out of his hands like lightning. Sending several blasts out, everyone scattered in opposite directions, Jade carrying Ju-Lin off to the side leaving Naruto and Jackie to face the monk two-to-one.

"Alright, teme... no more Mr. Nice Guy...!" Naruto growled as he clenched and un-clenched his fists as he began circulating chakra through them, his left hand suddenly lighting up with the same symbol that was on the monk's right hand. _From when we grappled... _"Jackie! Let's do this!" the blond said rushing forward only for the man to yank him up by the scruff of his shirt.

"No. It's too dangerous," he said wagging his finger before he rushed at the old man himself, the blond huffing as he looked around for a weapon to use, _really _wishing it weren't so hard to sneak ninja tools through customs. Public flights and ningu did _not _go together.

"Jade, I'm... changing..." Ju-Lin groaned as she felt her antennae beginning to grow again, the girl having transformed more in this one night than she had in the past five years.

"No biggie. Stay calm. Just try to remember, Naruto and I are your guests, and Uncle Jackie..."

"He is... invited," the girl finished.

"Good girl," Jade replied, Jackie grabbing a naginata from a pile of armor and weapons around a support beam. Twirling it in his hands as the monk floated in place, the archaeologist rushed at him before stabbing the bladed end into the ground, using the weapon like a pole vault and flying into a kick that brought the two to the ground.

"No more palm blasting!" Jackie growled as the two grappled, the rat-like man holding his own surprisingly well despite their difference in size and build.

"You think that is the _only _power granted by the scroll of Hung-Chao?" the man asked with crinkled eyes. "Hai Shong... Hai Shong... Hai Shong..." the man chanted as a set of samurai armor began to come to life from the pile in the middle of the room, the boots, suneate, kusazuri, dou, sode, kote, and lastly kabuto all floated into place as though someone was wearing them.

When the construct a nearby naginata, the thing swung at him only for the archaeologist to leap at the ceiling and grab the overhanging framework, treating it like monkey bars on the playground and barely dodging a number of mad slashes. Kicking its helmet, the kabuto spun around before clattering onto the floor at Jade and Ju-Lin's feet, the girl now exhausted from so many transformations and unable to change. As a piece of the bamboo snapped and Jackie fell to the ground, the man guarded the overhead slash with the part he took with him, the old monk chuckling at the free entertainment, only to whirl around as the fox-faced blond from before approached him, hands at his sides as both began to glow, though not through the marking of Hung-Chao.

"Alright teme... You dragged us all the way out here to this temple, so now you're going to tell me exactly how to lift Ju-Lin's curse," the blond growled as he walked towards him, for some reason picturing this man as an older, balder version of Sasuke.

"Foolish boy. If I knew how to do that, would I have required that my guide act as a distraction while I made my way towards that which I sought?" the man asked with a raised brow, the blond's twitching at the present dead end.

"Fine... If that's your final answer..." Naruto growled, Jackie fighting a headless samurai construct in the background. "Rasenrengan!" he called out as he began to rotate chakra above _both _palms, the transcribed mark on his left palm causing new energies to flow into them. The Rasengan in his left hand began to whine as four small blade-like protrusions began to swirl around, a high-pitched screech piercing through the night air. The Rasengan in his _right _hand began to glow white at its core, tongues of flame swirling about and illuminating the room in a bright orange glow. In the background, Jackie was shadow boxing with a pair of floating gloves, one of which tried to poke him in the eyes.

"You... What _are _you, and how can you _have _this kind of power?!" the old monk demanded as the blond youth held the power of both wind and flame in his hands like it were second-nature, whereas it took him _decades _to use just _one_. In the background, Jackie was shocked to discover that while Ju-Lin could _not _leave the Lotus Temple, the moving armor _could_.

"I'm a mother f*cking ninja," the blond roared as he lunged at the monk, the man throwing up his hands and causing a barrier of lightning to spring up around him. While the Katon Rasengan ground against the forcefield around him, the Futon Rasengan began to grind through the barrier, the man screaming as he was thrown back from the force of the explosion. At the same time in the background, Jackie threw a cyclone from his palms, the mark of Hung-Chao glowing as he did so.

"Ju-Lin! Come on!" Jade called out as the girl began to regain consciousness, only to begin transforming into her demon bunny form once again. At that time the old monk came back into the room, a few cuts and scrapes from the throwing-around he'd gotten from the blond.

"Ju-Lin! Sick him!" Naruto called out pointing at the old man as Ju-Lin finished transforming, the demonic bunny leaping forward and wrapping her long ponytails around his wrists and mouth, stopping his magic cold. "Wow... I didn't think that'd actually work," the blond said as he, Jackie, and Jade ran for the door. "Oh crap the sun's coming up."

"Good," Jackie sighed.

"No. _Not _good," Jade argued. "The temple vanishes at dawn, and anyone who's still inside goes _with _it!"

"How many crazy rules does this temple _have_?" Jackie asked in exasperation. "Naruto, take Jade outside. I'll save Ju-Lin," he said pushing the two out, the blond reluctantly throwing Jade over his shoulder once again, despite the girl's protests as he ran down the stairs.

"Naruto, I'm a big girl, you don't have to carry me!" Jade argued as they made it to the bottom of te steps.

"Gomen, but I think I'm just a little bit faster than you," the blond apologized as they got to the bottom of the stairs, his cerulean eyes turning to the temple entrance, waiting for any sign of Jackie and/or Ju-Lin to come back out. As the sun rose painfully into the sky, the sight of Ju-Lin clad in a set of kabuto, dou, and kote was thrown out the temple riding atop a shield down the steps, Jackie following soon-after. Within moments of his feet hitting the ground, the Lotus Temple began to flicker out of existence before disappearing altogether, the monk's cry ringing out through the air for a fleeting few moments before it disappeared.

"Heh... Easy come, easy go," Jackie said with a sigh as he looked down at his left palm, the mark of Hung-Chao smudged beyond recognition as it began to disappear.

"Arigatougo, arigatou," Ju-Lin said with a smile as she hugged Jade, Jackie, and Naruto once she had gotten the samurai armor off. Kabuto off, it revealed that her ponytails had been cut. "I would never have escaped without your assistance."

"And on top of this, the Scroll of Hung Chao was destroyed," Jackie said with a satisfied sigh after the evening they had all had. "No one else will learn its dangerous secrets."

"You know, I bet we could re-draw those inscriptions on your hand," Jade said looking down at the smudge on Jackie's glove. "I mean, it'd take a few times, but..." she drawled out, remembering how cool it was when Jackie threw that cyclone.

"Jade, playing with magic is dangerous," Jackie chastised.

"But Naruto got to play with wind _and _fire, and I don't see you chastising _him_," the girl huffed as she pointed at Naruto, who removed the glove on his right hand, the silken palm seared clean through forcing him to discard it.

"I only hope to once again see my parents, and have _nothing _more to do with magic ever again," Ju-Lin sighed.

"Come on. Where's your spirit of adventure, Ju-Lin?" Jade argued.

"Ancient wisdom:..."

"_Oh Kami, not _this _crap again,"_ Naruto groaned as Jackie went on about monkeys stifling their spirit of adventure and concentrating on schoolwork.

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><p><strong>On note of the previous summarization of the episodes <strong>Danger in the Deep Freeze**,** Into the Mouth of Evil**, and **Lost City of the Muntabs**, if I took the time to make a chapter based off **_**every **_**episode, this story would stretch on forever and I'd be repeating the same tricks over and over. Would you rather have repeated dialogue, or some tried and true action? **

**As for the "souvenir" Naruto picked up when they made their way up the temple steps, if you watch the episode, you'll clearly see an abandoned gauntlet lying on the stonework. Just thought I'd bring it into relevance with a twist. As for Naruto using a Futon Rasengan out of his left hand, Jackie threw a cyclone out of that hand when **_**he **_**got the mark of Hung-Chao on it. On note of the Katon Rasengan in his **_**right **_**hand, well, I'll let your own conclusions be drawn about that. On note of the glove protecting his palm, that was completely unplanned, but worked out extremely well.**

**As for the samurai armor...  
>Tekko: plate on the back of the glove<br>Suneate: shin guards  
>Kusazuri: the part that hangs from the front and back of the waist<br>Dou: chest armor  
>Sode: rectangular shoulder guards<br>Kote: armored glove  
>Kabuto: helmet<strong>


	5. Kittycats, Secret Agents, & Chupathingys

**For those of you who've been waiting (and PMing me) for the next update to this story, here it is. While I appreciate you being so anxious for the next installment, what I'm _not _particularly fond of if receiving PMs with nothing _but _people asking about the next story. In summary, try and keep the "When are you going to update?"s to a minimum if at all possible, because that kind of _un_-motivates me.**

* * *

><p>After what happened at the Lotus Temple, Ju-Lin was finally returned to her family, and the circumstances of her disappearance were elaborated upon. As it turned out, everyone at her home village had their suspicions about Ju-Lin's disappearance in the first place, and the five years of isolation were punishment enough, so she only got a two-hour's long lecture from her father about listening to what he had to say. Saying their goodbyes and promising to write to one another, the Chan Clan made their way back to the states... only to be sent on a wild goose chase to Tangeas, India in pursuit of an ancient statuette, as indicated by an eighteenth-century document in the museum's possession.<p>

While finding the Cat of Cartomb, Jade came across an adorable white-furred cat and affectionately called her "Ruby" after untangling her from some rope. After setting off the booby traps, getting the cat stolen _–the statue, not the mammal-_, and Jackie being taken captive by Carte Zendo, both Naruto and Jade were sent by the _–legally ambiguous- _art collector to retrieve the Cat of Cartomb from Valmont; who had gone back on their deal after he himself acquired it. While Naruto could've taken them in a fight, Jackie once again urged that it was too dangerous, _despite _the fact that not only had he been giving the smackdown to demons whenever he could for the majority of his life, but that he could also swamp them with Shadow Clones. Following the trail of "three suspicious-looking deviants" to a cream-processing factory, and the two orange-clad pre-teens _–Jackie argued you weren't a "teenager" until you were _four_teen-_ were greeted by the sight of one very... catty, Victor Valmont. One torn pair of jeans later, and the Cat of Cartomb had been exchanged for Jackie's freedom, though at the end Jade was acting rather... _catty _about the exchange herself. To make a long story short, Jade was turned into a cat-person alongside Valmont, there was a big fight in Zendo's restaurant, and they had to smash the statue in order to cure everyone afflicted by the cat's scratch. While the Cat of Cartomb had to be destroyed -_Jackie saying it was too _dangerous _to go into a museum-_, at least Jackie let Jade keep _Ruby_, since she _had _been the reason they were able to track down Valmont, and by extension, the cat statuette. Ruby also seemed to like curling into a ball Naruto's hair for some reason, something Jade thought was cute on the flight back.

Shortly after the cat statue fiasco, for _some _reason, Uncle thought it prudent that Jackie research Celtic Pig Goddesses. With nothing to do _–outside of homework-_ and no missions to stow away on _–at the moment-_, Jade asked Naruto the question that would be Jackie's ire for many months _–or years- _to come; "Hey Naruto, think you could teach me some ninja stuff?" Since teaching her to use ninja tools were clearly out of the question, Naruto was more or less coerced into teaching her a ninja trick or two; in exchange for a bowl of ramen. Naruto figured a do-nothing-enough trick to teach her would be chakra-walking. Good news _–for Jackie's health-_, she wouldn't be scuttling along the walls like some kind of horror movie creeper. Bad news, she subverted that limitation by sticking suction cups to her _sneakers _and walked along the ceiling the poor-man's way. Standing beside her for when she inevitably fell off the suction cups _–that in all likelihood would never be able to hold her weight under normal circumstances- _and prevented her from landing on the floor face-first, they soon found themselves privy to a Dr. Necrosis' doomsday plan for the world. Once everyone had left the room, Jade had run off to join one Agent Tag, who for some reason had disguised himself as someone else even though he was retired. Knowing the orange-clad girl would get into as much trouble as his former self would've, Naruto gollowed after her and snuck into the back of a high-speed jet that somehow transformed from a suitcase. Were the two of them any older, they may have seriously enjoyed and/or been embarrassed by, the "positions" they were forced into so they could squeeze into the cargo hold. Long story short, the group's presence was revealed almost as soon as they had arrived, Jackie was mistaken for Agent Tag in disguise, Naruto had to get the Druid Stone out of the antenna array, and Tag ended up taking credit for the whole thing.

Suffice it to say, Naruto was seeing _a lot _of weird and wacky things following the Chan Clan around. None weirder than what he could encounter on his _next _trip, and I'm not referring to full-grown men in spandex and masks.

* * *

><p>"So, Naruto, how have the past few weeks of school been?" Jackie asked as he, Jade, and the blond-being-questioned waited for their next ride to show up. They'd just gotten back from research at a Mayan pyramid where they were chased by an angry panther, and El Toro Fuerte had called them up because a goat-eating monster was on the loose. Given they weren't being chased by hungry carnivores, the archaeologist figured he should ask the blond how things were going. On a side note, taking it upon himself to carry two pre-teens around even though one of them was capable of moving about on his own, Jackie had put on a little extra muscle in the past few weeks.<p>

"Awful," the blond huffed, much to Jackie's surprise. "All the girls in mine and the upper classes do is rub my cheeks and ask if these whisker marks are real. I keep saying they're birthmarks, but no matter what I say, all the girls keep _groping _me," he groaned as he rubbed his cheeks, which _still _ached from the previous Friday of school. For some reason, Jade was bristling behind him at the thought of her favoriteblond _–not that she knew too many-_ being grouped by other girls. "So who is this El Toro Fuerte guy anyway?"

"Only Mexico's greatest lucha libre wrestler. You'll recognize him right away," Jade answered as a yellow taxi pulled up to them.

"One _more_ thing," Naruto stated with an upward inflection of the middle word. "What is this _El Chupacabra _thing we're supposed to be fighting?"

"It was _supposed _to be the Mexican Boogeyman, but now it's a real-life creature that makes grown men hide like little girls," Jade answered again. "Eats goats too."

"Huh... Can't be any scarier than the demonic _peanut _gallery," the blond stated, shuddering at the very memory of how the fat one had tried eating him. He opened a can of whoop-ass from the inside out whenever they tried _–he was thankful they never learned to chew_ _their food-_, but that didn't change the fact that it was traumatizing, and it took _hours _to get the saliva out of his clothing and the smell out of his skin. He learned pretty quickly how effective dirt baths could be. It took forever, but you could eventually get as clean as from a shower. "Something that's been bugging me though, care to elaborate?"

"Sure," Jade returned.

"Do taxis _always _drive out to the middle of the jungle for pickup?" the blond questioned, Jade about to answer only for no sensible answer to come out.

* * *

><p>"So... Anything yet?" Naruto asked a few minutes after they'd gotten out of the taxi, now sitting on the edge of a fountain in the middle of the town's plaza.<p>

"I got nothin'. No idea why a taxi would pull out into the middle of the jungle," Jade returned.

"This world is weird."

"_Your _world is weird," Jade retorted, a bright red van with a yellow bull-like insignia slapped onto the side pulling into the plaza a moment later. Getting up and walking up to Jackie, the side door opened wide revealing an inside wall lined with wrestling memorabilia, ranging from photos to ribbons to newspaper articles and even a wrestling belt. The next moment a skinny Mexican child with tan skin, messy brown hair, brown eyes, a teal shirt, yellow pants, and brown sandals came around the seat and into the open.

"Hola," he greeted jovially.

"You..." Jade said slowly, but in surprise at seeing the Latino boy there before rounding on Jackie. "You didn't tell me _Paco _would be here."

"It is good to see you too, senorita Yade," the boy identified as Paco greeted as he hopped off the van. "Oh! I see you have brought a friend. And what is _your _name?" he asked chipperly, though something hidden in his tone implied he was less than enthusiastic with the addition to their traveling group.

"Name's Naruto. _Jade's _BFF. Nice to meet you," the blond said extending his hand while correcting Paco on his pronunciation of Jade's name.

"Come, Jackie. We must prepare to battle the Chupacabra," a powerful voice said from the front seat of the van. The owner of said voice was a _large _Mexican man with tan skin and a goatee wearing a black suit, dress shirt, pants, and tie. Naruto raised an eyebrow at the red yellow-accented mask encompassing the entirety of the man's head, allowing only his eyes, mouth, and shaggy brown goatee to spill out.

"Wait, wait, wait. You said you only needed me to translate ancient tablets," Jackie protested, only to get hauled off his feet and into shotgun, the three pre-teens pouring into the van behind him.

"There is no time. The beast attacks by dark of night," El Toro said mitigating Jackie's protest. For the mostpart the ride to the countryside was uneventful, apart from Jade and Paco bickering about whether it'd be Jackie or El Toro who'd defeat the El Chupacabra, with Naruto situated in the middle and having to endure the whole ordeal.

* * *

><p>Arriving at the goat farm out in the countryside the El Chupacabra had first been sighted, Jackie and El Toro proceeded to interrogate the two human residents and question them on what they knew. Aside from the busted-in doorway and claw marks, Jackie was skeptical on the whole El Chupacabra front, and simply accredited it to being the work of a coyote. That was of course before all the goats began to freak out and ran for the hills, before the beast itself scuttled out of the ensuing dust cloud, letting out a high-pitched screech that sent shudders up the children's spines.<p>

"I don't think that's a coyote," Naruto stated evenly, the horrifying beast in front of him not even _fazing _him after all the weird stuff he'd been through. It was humanoid in shape but crawled about on all fours, its body covered in brown fur with thick brown spines sticking out of its back and elbows, glowing red eyes forward-set into its skull which was filled with many sharp fangs, a pair of blood-colored talons on the end of each limb. Overall the thing looked like some kind of insect-beast hybrid.

"Everybody inside! Close the door!" Jackie ordered, the goat whose leash was held in the small farm girl's hands running indoors and dragging her behind. Jade, Naruto, Paco, and the farm girl's mother were swift to follow behind, Paco pointing out there was a gaping hole in the door before the blond heaved an entire dresser across the room and nearly flattening him.

"Don't just stand there! Start barricading the door! I will _not _wind up another demons chew toy!" the blond shouted as he grabbed more stuff, Paco grabbing what he could carry while Jade looked at the fight through a crack in the window.

"What _kind _of chew toy were you, Naruso?" Paco asked, his thick accent butchering the blond's name.

"Really? _That's _what you ask!" the blond cried out in exasperation before something dawned on him. "Jade! Get away from that window!" he cried out as the wooden shingles shattered, the insect-like beast bursting through and screeching right in Jade's face, her hair whipping back before Naruto leapt into a flying kick at the thing's face. "Dynamic Entry!"

* * *

><p>At the same time outside, El Toro's body slam had failed and for his efforts he was thrown through one of the goat shelter's support beams. Jackie had initially brandished a rake to combat the beast, but soon swapped to something more hefty, like a support beam. In his terrified stupor he asked if the thing had a splinter in its paw before taking a swing at the beast, only for it to catch the beam between its teeth before sending the archaeologist flying. Throwing half its body through the window, the El Chupacabra elicited a girlish scream from one of the occupants before it was carried out of the house off the end of a sneakered foot, the resident blond dismounting off the beast's face as he faced the thing down.<p>

"Come on, you giant hairball!" the blond said throwing his wrist to the side, a kunai attached to a rope leaping into his palm before he brandished it reverse-hand style. "Come at me!"

"Naruto! I told you to go inside!" Jackie yelped from his position on the ground.

"And I did! You didn't tell me to _stay _inside!" the blond returned, eliciting a groan from Jackie as he lunged at the beast, which tackled him to the ground mid-lunge, the sharpened steel in his hand keeping the beast from biting his face off, sneakered feet keeping the thing's claws from tearing into him. Just as the El Chupacabra's claws were about to bite into him, El Toro Fuerte snaked his muscular arms under the thing's armpits and carried it overhead before dropping it onto the ground head-first. Hefting the support beam back into his hands, Jackie ran at the beast and tried to knock it unconscious, only for it to bite the end of the wooden beam off into splinters. Naruto slashed at the thing's eyes after it had escaped El Toro's hold, only for it to bound away in a blur of movement, afterimages of itself left behind before it ran in for another swipe of its blood-colored claws. Naruto whipped out his kunai, sparks flying as metal met talon before the sharpened steel was sent flying from his hand, the beast's claws coming for Naruto's throat, a muscular arm wrapping around Naruto's midsection and yanked him out of harms way. "Um... Thanks," the blond returned from the huge man's grip, not really used to being saved. Back in demon world the only one he could rely on was himself.

"It is no problem, little one," El Toro said putting the blond down before he and Jackie rushed at the beast before leaping into flying kicks. The ensuing impact prompted Jade and Paco to argue about who was "winning", based on who made first contact or who sent the thing flying the farthest. When Naruto leapt into the air over the others and peppered the creature's hide with throwing stars, Jade began to tally points for Naruto, only for Paco to argue they didn't count because the four-pointed weapons bounced off the thing's bristled hide.

"How can people think something like that's a _myth_?" Naruto asked as the thing leveled its eyes on him, screeching loudly before bounding towards him in a blur of movement, the blond dashing around the field and similarly leaving afterimages in his wake, forcing the archaeologist and wrestler to try and keep up, Paco's jaw dropping to the ground while Jade simply smirked knowingly.

"Your blond companion is very fast like the _correcaminos, _though the markings on his face make him resemble a _zorro,_" El Toro commented, he and Jackie whirling around to keep the creature in their sights, should Naruto need their aid. "Tell me, are those tattoos upon his face?"

"Would you quit talking about my face and _help me_?" the blond shouted irately as he made another pass, a trail of dust behind him. "I can't shake this thing, and it's creeping me out!"

"Lead him my way. _I _will subdue the beast," El Toro said planting his feet and assuming a staunch stance. Naruto, running towards him with the beast following, slid between El Toro's feet like a baseball player to home plate, the El Chupacabra so focused on the blond whose scent was oddly similar to its own, that it did not notice the large masked human until he was right on top of him. Scuttling up the human's chest and screeching in his face, El Toro only had this to say.

"Never. Touch. The mask."

Grappling with the beast once more, the thing wrestled him to the ground before El Toro rolled to the side, pinning the beast under him. With its limbs flailing madly, the beast did not notice the sun peaking the horizon until it was too late. As the rays of light fell upon its body, its form began to turn bone-white, skin clinging to its bones like it were being dried out. Moments later the El Chupacabra became semi-transparent, before vanishing entirely in a cloud of white dust, depositing El Toro unceremoniously to the ground.

"Holy _crap _the sun rose quickly," Naruto gaped as a few seconds after the sun peaked the horizon. Back in San Francisco it would've taken hours for the sun to get that high, but for it to get that high in Mexico in mere minutes... He was greatly confused by what he was seeing.

* * *

><p>While initially it was thought <em>–by one- <em>that El Toro had been the one to defeat the El Chupacabra, the true victor was the sun, thus explaining why the beast only attacked at night. Word of its destruction soon spread across the countryside, and those from the nearby villages gathered in the largest town to celebrate, fiesta-style. Store owners were out en masse manning stalls selling masks and hats commemorating their respite from fear, mariachi bands were out in quartets filling the air with music, and the smell of churos, skull-shaped candies, and other Mexican foods filled everyone's nostrils. While those that grew up with the El Chupacabra metaphorically breathing down their necks the _first _time simply took in the elation at no longer having to live in fear, the children laughed and giggled as they donned paper mache masks and/or overly-large sombreros. Paco had chosen a green yellow-accented mask like a wrestler's, Jade got a flashy blue and purple-accented panther mask with yellow whiskers, and Naruto found himself wearing a white fox-like mask with round eyeholes and red markings around the eyes and on the cheeks. However, there were two of the older set that were not able to enjoy the festivities in the same capacity as the others.

"The goats are afraid. As if the El Chupacabra is near."

"Oh, that is crazy-talk," Jackie returned, though it did not change the fact that the goats fled when El Toro Fuerte drew near.

"Perhaps not, my friend. Do not let the children know..." the lucha libre wrestler said, looking over his shoulder and seeing the children playing a game at one of the booths. "the beast wounded me. But, it is a small injury to which I would normally give no notice," he said drawing back his right sleeve. Revealed on the top of his right forearm, which he had used to pull Naruto away from the beast's mad slash, were two marks glowing a sickly green. "I fear that I have been tainted by the creature's evil. Infected by its ancient malevolence," the wrestler admitted, the wound pulsing ominously as if to tell him that sentiment were true.

"Take me to the tablets you needed me to translate," Jackie said with no room for argument, El Toro nodding his head before leading Jackie away. Coming to a museum at the edge of town, which was now completely vacant sans two as everyone enjoyed the festivities, Jackie stood over a trio of stone tablets as light, waning it was, poured in through the high windows."The beast hunts by night. Hides by day. Feeds on livestock and goats. Sunlight will destroy the beast."

At that moment the sun set beyond the horizon, and El Toro shuddered as an ill tingling sensation ran up his right arm and into his chest. "My friend... I fear you must translate more quickly."

"I feel like I am missing something obvious," Jackie mused to himself, completely unaware of El Toro flailing behind him. "Oh, wait, here it is," he said turning his attention to the last tablet, El Toro's skin now a dark brown. "Beware of the Chupcacabra's claw." Spines protruded from El Toro's body, his hands shifting into red claws and bristles poked out of his mask. "The evil can be transferred from beast to man... and the man will become the beast! Bad news-WHOA!" Jackie yelped when he turned around, El Toro's clothing completely shredded as a large, more muscular version of the El Chupacabra stood over him, eyes glowing an ominous red through the remaining shreds of the wrestler's ox-themed mask. El Toro_ Cabra _let out a beastial squeal before raising its claws above its head, bringing them down and smashing the tablets into gravel, the archaeologist flipping away and out the door before running as fast as his legs could carry him. "Bad day, bad day, bad day!" he cried as he ran into the town, now darkening with the coming of the night as the beast-wrestler bound after him, afterimages left in its wake. Coming upon a parade of people clad in masks and costumes, the Chinese man was quick to yell out- "Run! Run run! The El Chupacabra is loose!"

And just as he predicted, the beast came around the corner not a moment later. Two men in goat costumes were of course quick to assume it was merely a costume, before the man-beast squealed. Suffice it to say, they got the message quickly, and everyone began to run in a frenzied panic. The best kind for getting people to run away from something dangerous. Or hungry for flesh, whichever comes first.

"What's going on-oh crap, he's the Chupathingy," Naruto was about to ask as he came around the corner, only to realize what was going on when he saw a muscle-bound El Chupacabra bounding after Jackie like some kind of mutated gazelle. "Stay here! I'm going to help Jackie!" he said motioning for Jade and Paco to stay back before he ran after the beast, which at the moment was terrorizing a group of villagers.

"Yoohoo! Yummy goat, right here!" Jackie called out as he held a goat-like piñata into the air for the beast to see, the man screaming out when the beast's attention turned to him, despite how that was his intention in the first place. His back against the wall, the El Chupacabra shredded the thing out of his grip, a shred of green-colored paper all that remained. With a loud roar the thing raised its arms above his head before trying to clamp its teeth around his face. Before it could go for a fourth lunge however, a familiar orange blur slammed into the beast, tackling it to the ground. "Naruto! That's too dangerous!" he called out when he saw the blond wrestling the beast into the ground, though something seemed off about him. The thing quickly grabbed Naruto by the armpits and hoisted him above his head, the blond grasping at whatever he could get to before he was thrown into a stand and buried up to his eyeballs in chili peppers. Despite that the beast was running away, the archaeologist's first obligation was to see to the blond's safety. "Naruto, are you alright?" he asked worriedly. In response, a fist burst through the top of the pile before turning into a thumbs-up.

"One point for Jackie, and one point for Naruto," Jade said as she and Paco came up to them, the other partygoers having fled into their homes and hidden under the beds like scared children. "For whatever that was."

" . . . Where is El Toro?" Paco asked looking around for his idol, only for another fist to burst from the pile of chili peppers a moment later, a red yellow-accented bull-themed mask held in its clutches.

"The only explanation I can come up with," Naruto said as his head burst through the pile of chili peppers, a crack running down the middle of his mask, "is that the Chupathingy bit him or something, and now he _is _the El Chupacabra." At that moment his mask finally broke down the middle, the two halves clattering to the ground. The blond thought nothing of it, until Paco squealed like a little girl, Jackie almost had a heart attack, and Jade raised an eyebrow. "What? Is there something on my face?"

"Um... Whatever you do, don't look in a mirror," Jackie said as he got his heartrate back under control. He'd have to eat healthier if he was going to live long enough to see the two orange-clad children to their eighteenth birthdays.

"WAH!" the blond cried out as he looked at his reflection in the mirror he kept in his pocket. He wasn't overly-vain or anything, it was just good for peering around corners. His sclera were now pitch black, his eyes red with slit pupils, his hair the same color as the El Chupacabra's spines, whisker marks on his cheeks more prominent, and the fingers holding the mirror were now tipped with red claws. However, he for the most part maintained his human appearance without mutating in any significant matter.

"I warned you," Jackie sighed as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Wait a minute, why aren't you attacking me?"

"Why? You're not a goat. _*GASP*_" The next moment the former-blond clapped his hands over his mouth. "Holy crap! I'm turning into the Chupathingy!"

"Chupacabra," Paco saw fit to correct him upon, though the way he was clutching his idol's mask bellied how confusing he was.

"I've heard it both ways."

"So..." Jade said nudging Jackie's leg as the two boys began to bicker about pronunciations and what-not. "What're we going to do about... that?"

"Don't worry. I've already called for help."

"Chupa_cabra!_"

"I've heard it both _ways_!"

* * *

><p>"The flight was delayed, the food was terrible, the movie had <em>no <em>plot, and I had _turbulence_!" –were the first words that left Uncle's lips after he kicked the door to their hotel room in. For an old guy you had to admit he was pretty spry. Most older men would've busted a hip or slipped a disk from something like that.

"Can you cure El Toro and Naruto?" Jackie asked as the blond sunk his fangs _–you'd think that was a metaphor, but you'd be mistaken- _into another strip of goat jerky.

"Do not rush the chi!" Uncle yelped in return before turning his eyes to Naruto, the blond tearing another strip of tried meat with his teeth before looking up at Uncle, gulping down the goat-flavored meat when the old man looked at him. "Boy does not need cure. His body will sort out the beast's malevolence on its own. El Toro however will need more direct aid." Bringing his hands together above his head before lowering them, he cracked his neck a couple times to let the tension out of his body, before pulling a rolled sheet of parchment. "I have all but one ingredient, a powderbane from capsicum."

"I have never heard of capsicum. It can break the Chupacabra curse?" Paco asked hopefully.

"NO!" Uncle cried in return. "It is only one ingredient, does no one listen to me? One more thing," he said rolling the parchment out on the table. "To find the best capsicum, we must visit the wise elder atop El Picacho del Diablo. The Mountain of the Devil!"

"Just make sure to bring along more goat jerky," Naruto said between bites. "We're almost out," he said shaking the last few bits from the bag into his hands. Just as Uncle had said, the El Chupacabra's ancient malevolence had begun sorting itself out, his red talons having turned into white claws. Likely, the other features would persist.

* * *

><p>"Can you move anymore slow<em>ly<em>?" Uncle questioned the same evening as the five trekked up El Picacho del Diablo, the senior himself carrying the map in his hands while Jade, Paco, and Naruto held bags of goat jerky, the latter munching on a strip every couple minutes. By now his sclera had returned to normal, though his eyes, hair, whisker marks, and teeth remained unchanged. While the three of them trekked upwards at a relative pace, Jackie carried an entire travel pack up the mountain that weighed as much as he did, loaded with ingredients and the equipment needed to make the cure.

"Ooogh... Why do _I _have to carry everything?" the archaeologist grumbled, struggling to place each foot in front of the other.

"You want their children to break their _backs_? And _my _hands hold the _map_," the old man argued glancing over his shoulder.

"But... Naruto can make Shadow Clones to carry the excess... Can't he?" Jackie groaned out.

"Gotta _*munch* _keep _*crunch* _Chupathingy _*nom* _at bay," Naruto said between bites of beef jerky.

"Chupa_cabra_."

"And besides, weren't _you _the one who said we shouldn't rely on Naruto's cloning ability in our everyday lives?" Jade asked with a knowing smile. "_That_, my dear uncle, is a double-standard."

Jackie could only sputter in return before hanging his head, wishing he hadn't burned _that _particular bridge as he begrudgingly forced his way up the mountain. As Naruto continued to stuff his face, suppressing the El Chupacabra's urges growing within him, Paco brought it up that Uncle was holding the map upside-down. In recompense, Jade brought it up that Uncle wasn't senile, they'd checked, so they had nothing to worry about _–for now-_. When that string of conversation ended, Paco also brought it up he'd be more confident were El Toro's fate not in the hands of a"puny mouse-man". Remembering how similar talk like that was to Konoha ass-kissing the Uchiha, Naruto was almost tempted to shove some goat jerky into the boy's throat, if only to make him shut up. However, he then remembered that it wasn't groundless hero worship the boy was spewing, granted to a person who did nothing for themselves but piggybacked off the achievements of his parents. El Toro Fuerte was a great man by his own merit, not by the merit of his coach or whatever wrestler last wore a mask with an ox-based icon. Before he could cut the mental tirade by his own volition however, Uncle yelped out in fright as El Toro Cabra dropped down in front of them.

"Jaaade..." Naruto groaned as his hands began to shake, nails turning back into talons and his sclera darkening. "I'm starting to turn into the Chupathingy!"

"El Chupa_cabra_!"

"Naruto! Listen to me, you can fight it! I know you can!" the Chinese girl cried out.

"Fight... Fight it... Fight... Fight..." Naruto shuddered as he repressed the urge to claw and bite at everything around him, Jackie using a pair of tent posts as an impromptu bo staff only for it to get split in half. **"Fight..."** Naruto growled as his eyes snapped to black and red, fangs bared as he began running at El Toro Cabra on all fours, afterimages left in his wake. After the thing had bitten the ends of the tent posts in half and spit them out, an orange and blue blur suddenly bound over Jackie before bicycle kicking El Toro Cabra under the chin, throwing the goat-eating wrestler into the air before he landed unceremoniously on his back with a _***THUD***_

"Whoa, Naruto's got moves," Jade gawped, Paco unable to pick his jaw off the ground at how easily the "fox boy" punted El Toro into next week. The next moment however he pumped his fist as El Toro got back up and tackled the blond, letting out a whoop before Jade punched him in the arm. "Whose side are you on?!"

"El Toro's!" _***THWACK* **_"Ow! What was that for?"

"For rooting for the thing trying to tear us to shreds!" Jade said pointing at El Toro Cabra, who at the moment was trying to shake Naruto off like a bucking broncho.

"Jackie!" Uncle yelled as the man pulled a pot off his boot that he'd stepped into. "You told me the El Chupacabra vanished when exposed to _sunlight_, correct?"

"Yes, why?" Jackie asked, Uncle pointing behind him to the horizon, the sky changing from dark blue to bright purple, gradually shifting to orange. "Naruto! The sun's coming up!" he yelled, the blond's head snapping up and the blacks in his eyes turning back to white.

"Where are we going to put him?" the blond cried out, not a big fan of watching the El Chupacabra get deep-fried by the rising sun when it was someone he knew. If only for a couple hours, but still, it'd sting if the guy evaporated right out from under him like the _last _goat-eater he had the displeasure of fighting.

* * *

><p>Thankfully, El Toro Fuerte's life was saved by Paco's quick thinking, the boy using the goat-eating wrestler's mask as bait to lure him up a hill and into a cave, where he returned to human form. Upon stepping into the morning light however, the man recoiled, forced back into the darkness of the cave that sheltered him. Even though he had returned to human form, when the sun set, he would become the goat-eater once more, and even if you excluded the time it'd take to create the antidote, the group wouldn't be able to make it back in time before El Toro transformed. When Jade suggested Naruto rush them up the mountain with some clones and his "rabbit speed", the blond countered that the move he moved, the harder it was to fight the urges filling his skull. Voicing that with his spindly legs and messy brown hair Paco looked like a goat, the group worked out a compromise. Chaining the man to a pillar with the length of linked metal Jackie <em>somehow <em>had the foresight to pack, the group made their way up El Picacho del Diablo.

Upon arriving at the hidden village, the goats were driven into a frenzy, though with his hands shoved into his pockets, sunglasses covering his eyes, and mouth clamped shut, no-one knew Naruto had been tainted by the El Chupacabra's ancient malevolence. Letting Uncle lead them to the most likely candidate for he or she that grew the capsicum they required, the group came upon an old man with a red poncho and tan-colored sombrero, a grey moustache upon his upper lip. Jackie politely asked for some capsicum, though the man was a bit abrasive of people coming up to him and simply _asking _for what he had spent most his life learning to cultivate.

When words didn't work, Jade dragged Naruto up to him by the arm, yanking his clawed hands from his pockets, snatching the sunglesses from his eyes, and pulling at his lips forcing him to smile revealing his fangs. Suffice it to say, the man became _much _more cooperative knowing what his capsicum would be used for. There were no complications in concocting the antidote for the El Chupacabra curse, Uncle having brought everything he required to do so, though barely _any _of what Jackie was made to carry ended up being used. With the first batch down, despite the pungent smell, Naruto pinched his nose before chugging it down, since him being right next to them was the more immediate concern. When the dark-green liquid hit his stomach, the blond's hand snapped open causing him to drop the vial, his claws turning back to fingernails, and his canines shrinking back to normal size. His hair soon regained its original color and became manageably spiky, his whisker marks turning back to thin lines on his face, before his eyes returned to the ocean-like blue they were before.

"So..." Naruto said a few moments after his eyes stopped swimming. "What do we do now?"

"Now, I concoct more antidote," Uncle said preparing the next batch of ingredients for the next vial of the El Chupacabra cure. "One more thing, brush your teeth. Your breath smells like goat," he said raising a finger, directing that comment towards Naruto in particular.

"What do you expect? I've had to eat dried goat flesh to sate my bloodlust for twelve _hours_," the blond griped.

"And my wallet's all the lighter for it," Jackie groaned opening up the starved envelope of leather, a moth fluttering out of the empty crevasse. The price on goat-related products only skyrocketed once the El Chupacabra had returned.

"Stop whin_ing_!" Uncle cried before he went back to making more antidote.

"So Naruso, how does it feel to be completely human again?" Paco saw fit to ask.

"Better than before," the blond returned. "Jackie, where's my toothbrush?"

"In the bag against the wall," Jackie said pointing to said bag. The next moment when the blond bound across the room on all fours like an animal, a trail of afterimages in his wake as he fished for his toothbrush before bounding off to the bathroom, the archaeologist nearly had a heart attack.

"Uncle..." Jade voiced up worriedly. "Maybe you should make the next batch of antidote stronger."

"Will put in more woodsbirch," the old man said without missing a beat. "One more thing..."

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><p>"El Toro. Do not go swimming for <em>half<em> an hour," Uncle said jabbing El Toro Fuerte in the chest. "Now, let me go home."

Once the next batch of antidote had been concocted, the group immediately set off for the cave they had chained El Toro Fuerte to. Since they were going downhill the trip was much faster, though once the cave was in sight the sun had begun to set they ran as fast as their feet could carry them. In Uncle's case it was as fast as he could walk uphill. Approaching the stone pillar they had chained El Toro to, all they were met with were a pile of broken chains on the ground, the sound of panicking goats bleating into the cave from behind them.

True to form, El Toro Cabra was now chasing the nearby goats for sustenance, Paco snatching the vial of antidote out of Jackie's hand before running up to the beast. When the thing smacked it out of his hand, Naruto felt compelled to rub the bridge of his nose, because it almost seemed as if Paco expected El Toro Cabra to take the antidote of its own _volition_. Then again he would've done the same back in Konoha, but some day he really _would _have to help the boy through his naiveté if he intended to be a great lucha libre wrestler. After taking the backup vial of antidote Uncle had made for such an occasion, Jackie leapt atop El Toro Cabra's back before pouring the antidote down his throat. The change was practically instantaneous, apparently as a result of the added woodsbirch Uncle had put in before. It was thankful that Jackie had administered the antidote when they had, because the sun had begun to rise right as the antidote took effect.

"Why does no-one else want to talk about why the sun rises and sets here every few minutes?!" the blond cried irately once the crisis had passed. He never _did _receive the answer that day.

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><p><strong>On note of some of the names that have been thrown around, like Valmont's, no actual first name is given, so I just put out what sounded the most natural. Anyway, I only had to summarize two chapters before getting onto the third, so I was able to cover Naruto meeting the Dark Hand <strong>_**–sans 1 Chow-, **_**El Toro Fuerte, and Paco. As for Paco calling Naruto "Naruso" with an 's', it's the same thing as him calling Jade "Yade" with a 'y', in his accent. "Correcaminos" is the Spanish word for Roadrunner, while "Zorro" means "Fox". I'm pretty sure that's all there is to it. Once the filler is over, I probably won't have to abridge as much material.  
><strong>


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